Are all SAHM's so involved? Or should I call it obsessed?

I wonder if all stay at home mom's go through what I've been through the last 4 years.

I'm not talking about shitty diapers, kids who embarrass you at the grocery store when a little person walks by or feeling like you never get a freaking minute alone.

I'm not sure if I would define it as boredom or just finding yourself while watching Kelly & Michael. (man, I miss Regis!)

I have worked outside the home since I was 16 years old, and then I decided at 35 when my son was born I wanted to stay home with him.  Once the first 6 months or so went by and I wasn't so sleep deprived that I could actually think about my life and what the hell I'm doing with it, is when it all started.

Below is the list of all the things that I've either obsessed over or I was just so damn bored I thought I would try it out.

The first thing was reading, I started with the Twilight Series and I couldn't believe that my mom was right all these years and reading is awesome.  I think I never did it before because I was busy with work and my sweet party life I never thought I needed to escape.  This is something I never stopped doing, I still read every single night before I go to sleep.

Next, was extreme couponing.  Holy shit on a stick, I really dove into that one.  I actually dove into a dumpster once looking for coupons. I saved a shit load of money and I really felt like I helped contribute something to the family.  For some reason, I got too lazy to get out on Sunday's and buy the damn newspapers.  Me and 2 other friends of mine, actually taught classes and sold coupon binders at one point.
I decided to start couponing again, not as "extreme" as before but, I feel like I need to help save money, instead of spending it.

Hmm, what's next?  Oh that's about the time we moved out into the country and I was stuck 10 miles from town with no car cause the asshole broke down.  I started gardening.  That was fun, but it would cost money that I didn't want to spend because plants aren't free and I found out the hard way I couldn't grow shit from a seed.
That is about the time I started my blog and getting good book ideas.
Also, I dabbled a little in sewing, didn't do to well but at least I figured out how to use a sewing machine. I made 2 quilts and a shit load of pillows.

We moved from the country to a whole other county 3 hours south from where I grew up.

That's where I found my newest obsession;  Goodwill!  Ahhhhh..

There are more Goodwill's in this town then I've ever seen!  I visit the closest 2 at least once a week.  I usually go right back to the house ware crap and look for something I can paint.

I can't even tell you how many shelves I've bought from there that I've re-done and I have no where to put them because we live in a tiny ass apartment.

Shit, since I'm painting shelves I might as well try to paint on a canvas too.  I really find it therapeutic.

Now, the newest thing I'm trying is working out.

I don't post many pics of me on my blog or FB because I just don't like pics of me, but I've always been really skinny and never had to diet.  But, since I've had 2 kids.. one 10 pounder and one 8 pounder, do you know what that does to a skinny body?  Let's just say my kids like to play with the extra skin on my belly more than play doh!

But, what I really want is my butt a little higher than it resides now and my dream is to have Kelly Ripa's arms!

I freaking love her arms!  I doubt she has the floppy shit going on like I do!  

So, I will be 40 years old in May and  I had a physical a few months ago and found out my bad cholesterol is too high and my good cholesterol is too low!  Ugh. The doctor told me that if I started to exercise that it could help. He also mentioned my diet and I told him NO WAY! I will not diet so put me on a pill!! 

 So, that is one of the reason's why I'm starting this new obsession and the other reason is, because I don't want my belly to be compared to play doh!  

What the hell will I do when I go back to work next year?  I can either finish this book I've been working on a become super rich! Yeah right!  Or I could be a seamstress?  ooh, a painter! Maybe, I can take up photography and start my own biz!  

Thanks for reading

The perks of being a blogger

Even though I've been slacking quite a bit on blogging, I still get emails every now and then to try something free and to blog about it.  Heck yah!! Who wouldn't?

This is the newest thing, I will be doing with my daughter and I will let you know how it's going.

K5 Learning has an online reading and math program for kindergarten to grade 5 students. I've been given a 6 week free trial to test and write a review of their program. 

If you are a blogger, you may want to check out their open invitation to write an online learning review of their program.

If anyone is interested in doing this with their child please click on the link above.  

I decided to join this because my daughter is having a hard time with math. 

I'm hoping that doing this free 6 week program she will be more confident and not such a whiny brat when she's doing her math homework.

Hmm.. maybe I will learn something too, considering she's always begging me to help her and I have no clue what to do.  I'm pretty sure she got her math knowledge or lack of from me. 

I will let you know how we are doing.

Thanks for reading,

My video game addict!

My 4 year old loves when his Dad plays video games.  If Chris isn't home and Andrew hears a jingle of keys, he runs through the house screaming, "Daddy!"  He is pretty pissed off when he finds out most of the time it's me getting my kicks off.

Andrew is on Chris as soon as he gets home from work; "Daddy, you gonna play your game now?"
He follows him around like a lost little puppy until Chris gives in and turns on his PS3.

Personally, I love when Chris plays because that means both kids are sitting in the living room with him while I'm in the bedroom, reading, watching T.V or just sitting there enjoying being by myself.

When I come out this is what I find.. and of course I can't help but to catch it on video.

Andrew will hold his pee for so long, that he's crying for Chris to pause the game while he goes to the bathroom.  He doesn't want to miss a moment.


We've explained to Andrew many, many times that what he sees on Daddy's game is NOT real!  We do not hurt or kill in real life.  He seems to understand.  "Okay, I already know that!"  he answers every time.

Chris used to have a video game that showed really inappropriate things, like boobies and the man picking up a hooker.  He got rid of that one, because there is no way Chris can play a game without Andrew sitting right beside him.

After Chris shuts off the PlayStation, I will find Andrew running to his playroom to find one of his many swords or guns to pretend he's fighting bad guys.

I also get a whole story about what he saw on the video game.  That's about the time my eyes glaze over and I reminisce on how relaxed I was while they were playing, all Andrew sees is a smile on my face he has no idea that I've tuned him out.


Do you have kids that like to watch video games?  Do you approve?



Thanks for reading,

Thrifty and Crafty

Anyone who knows me, they know I'm freaking cheap ass hell!
I couldn't even imagine paying $10 for a shirt. WTF!!
Maybe that's why I don't have that many clothes. Although, just recently I've discovered something so amazing, it's made for cheap or what I like to call "thrifty" people every where.  I've heard about it, but never visited one. Why? Who the hell knows.
Can you guess what I'm talking about?  Yeah, I hate guessing games too.. so I'm talking about.

GOODWILL!!! Holy hell have ya'll been there before?  If not, go!

Not only have I discovered Goodwill but also thrift shops.  I usually have to breathe through my mouth while in the thrift shops but it's well worth it when I find awesome deals like below.  I've learned that it takes time to find something good.  I literally look through every shirt on one rack.  It's much easier to do this when kids are around.  Sometimes, Chris will send me to the store for beer and I text him letting him know that I will be a little later, I had to stop by Goodwill while I was by myself.


I think I paid total $20 for all of these clothes and purses.  A few of these are from Goodwill, but most are from thrift shops.

That's an Anne Taylor sweater, I found for $2

That bluish dress I got for free, because it has a little blue
spot on it and the lady at the shop told me just to take it.
SCORE!!

I fell in love with that flowered skirt as soon as I seen it. 

Those are the clothes and stuff I bought for myself, I also found 4 or 5 cute things for my daughter.  So there you go, that's my new found "Thrifty" side of me.  I seriously go through Goodwill with drawls if I don't visit it at least once a week.  I don't buy something every time, just have to make sure I'm not missing out on anything.


Now, to the "Crafty" part of this blog..

For Christmas, my daughter got a ton of painting stuff.  Acrylic paints, wooden boxes, trinkets and canvases to paint on.  I've always wanted to paint myself.  But, I've always been afraid to start something and hate it.
Well, since she already has all this crap I guess I could try right?

So, while I'm at my favorite store in the whole world, I look for things I can turn into something I would like to display in my house.

Here's the crafty part of me.. well, at least I'm trying...

I found this wooden thingy with hook things. It was all flowery and yellow.
I painted it and made it into my toothbrush holder.
What is holding my toothbrushes are recycled tin cans which I painted.

This is a wooden plank that used to have the American flag on it.
Also found at GW.  I painted it, and wrote what I thought was cute and it's in my bathroom now.

Here are more recycled tin cans which I painted and attached gold letter stickers on them with
 modge podge. I'm making a wind chime for my sister who is getting married in March. 

This is another piece I found at GW. It was full of
flowers and junk I don't care for. I painted it and modge podged stickers
on it.   It is also in my bathroom holding my hand towel.

I decided to take a whirl at painting.
Blue moon.

I found an old poster board my daughter didn't need, so I thought
I would try to paint on it.  I have this hanging over my bed. 

A wooden piece I found at Goodwill.
Trying to practice at writing with paint. 

The last one I want to show you is something my daughter painted and I absolutely love. I've always been a fan of abstract art.  I like to let my mind wonder when I look at pieces that don't look like anything particular. 

I call this "Holy Shit it's freezing out!"

So, there you go. That's what I've been up to for the last couple weeks.  I'm totally addicted to Goodwill and I will paint anything that has been laying around for too long.  I admitted that I am thrifty, but crafty?  Hmm, I do try my little heart out. But, I know I have some practicing to do. 

I've also been working on my book.  So, I'm not totally screwing around. 

Thanks for reading. 

Coochy Juice (No, it's not what you're thinking, you sicko!)

The Bloggess isn't the only one who has unusual and stupid conversations with her friends or husband.  We probably all do, well people with a sense of humor.

Since nothing really embarrasses me, I like to use my sick sense of humor to embarrass or horrify others.

Below is an actual phone conversation I had with my friend the other day. She was by herself at Kmart shopping for something.  She decided to call me and talk me through her shopping event.  I have to live through other people's lives, since I hardly ever get out of the house by myself.



Friend:  Hey, whatcha' doing?
Me:  Just reading, what are you up to?
Friend:  I'm at Kmart picking up hemorrhoid cream for my boyfriend.
Okay, she really didn't say that, but in my mind, that's what she was getting. 
Me:  That's cool
Friend:  Oh my god they have the Taylor Swift perfume on sale for $10!  Didn't Emilie want that for Christmas?
Me:  Yeah, but I didn't get it because it was $30 before Christmas. I'm not paying that much for a 9 year old.
Friend:  Wow, they have all the perfumes on sale.  Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Halle Berry.
Me:  Halle Berry?!?  She has her own perfume?  What the hell. I need to make my own!  I think I would name it Coochy Juice.
Friend:  WHAT!!!
Me:  Would you wear my perfume?  (giggle, giggle)
Friend was saying something but I couldn't hear because I was laughing too hard at myself.
Chris:  What the hell are you saying?  Are you asking her if she would wear your coochy juice?
Me:  Chris would you wear my perfume?
Chris:  I've worn it, I don't think you should bottle that scent!  (Hee-Hee)
Me:  What the shit! Not nice ass-licker! Why are you listening to my conversation anyway?
Chris:  Because you are sitting right next to me. Go somewhere else and talk that nonsense.
Me:  It's not actually the smell of cooter's dumb ass. It's just the name of the perfume. SMFH!
Friend:  (Laughing) Ellen you say the weirdest stuff!
Me:  Well, someone has to say them!
Friend:  Well, I gotta go before I get to the cream aisle and you start talking about that too.
She didn't say that either, but again in my mind she still had to go get her boyfriends bung hole cream.

So, if I made my own perfume and named it "Coochy Juice" it would be in a cute bottle with this amazing pic of myself on the front.

Thanks for reading and Happy New Year!!