I was just sitting here trying not to pay attention to the 2 crazy ass toddlers running around my living room acting like cats, and these two words jumped in my brain "useless information." So I thought, maybe that would be a good post. Well, it was either that or the conversation that Chris and I had about blue balls. I chose the first option, even though the second is considered useless information to you, and to be frank it's useless to me too. Anyway, I Googled "useless information" and there are a shit ton of websites dedicated to this topic. Before you google it yourself, most of all these website had all the same information. So, I chose 9 to share with you today. I added one of my own, not sure if it's a fact, but I find it interesting.
Did you know....
While having sex you burn 360 calories per hour. Wow! Can someone please do the math and tell me how much you burn in 3.5 minutes? (uselessfacts.net)
The average person spends 6 months of their life sitting at red lights. I like this fact actually, because I hate sitting at red lights. I get super annoyed, and now I have good reason, the fucking thing is sucking the life out of me!! (uselessfacts.net)
Men can read smaller print than women, women can hear better. I'm really not sure about the reading part, but the hearing part, I call BULLSHIT, I think they are just better at tuning out women and children. (dbmproaudio.com/facts.html)
Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously. Holy shit, who would have thought, make sure you let your friends know to never to do this. Also, how the hell did they find out this fact? Are there scientist just injecting people or animals with random spices? (dbmproaudio.com/facts.html)
If you mouth the word "colorful" to someone, it looks like you're saying "I love you." I didn't know that about the word "colorful" I did know about "olive juice." I wonder how many more look like "I love you?" Do you think my daughter will think it's fun if I ask her to sit down with me while I move my mouth saying random shit and she can tell me what she thinks I'm saying? Actually, she probably would, but now it sounds boring. Although, what words could look like "fuck you" with out saying fuck you? Hmm.. (thechive.com)
When a person cries and the first drop of tears come from the right eye, it's happiness, when it's from the left, it's pain. I find this kind of cool. I had no idea and I will definitely be testing this theory out.
Now, how will I remember this, with out screwing up which eye meant what? (thechive.com)
Vanilla comes from the Latin word "vagina." Umm.. really! That's kind of gross. Now, every time I eat anything with vanilla, I will think of this and since my brain likes to picture everything, I will see vagina. Damn you people with this fact!
(thechive.com)
Casey Kasem is the voice of Shaggy and Scooby-Doo. I knew he was Shaggy's voice but I didn't know it was Scooby's voice too. If any of you are reading this wondering who Casey Kasem is.. SCREW YOU! For making me feel old.
Most lipstick contains fish scales. Interesting, I like to make fun of my last name and call myself "Fish lips." But, now it has a whole new meaning. (http://freepages.misc.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~kelmar/story3.htm)
That some people can't keep their feet flat on the floor while pooping. How did I know that? Well, I actually thought about that a long time ago and I took a poll and they would report back to me after they did their business to let me know if they could poop with their feet flat on the floor. I have no numbers to support this useless information, just know that I giggled every time someone said the word "poop." The only thing that sucks about sharing this information that you will probably be thinking of me the next time you're on the pot! (this one is mine)
So, did you learn anything from this useless information? I did. Not that I will remember any of them tomorrow. Actually, I forgot a few already.
Thanks for reading,
xoxo
.
Oh Ellen, this was utterly hilarious... I probably won't remember any of them either... hahaha but they were fun to read :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Launna! :)
DeleteOh, Casey Kasem. I haven't thought about him in a long time. Is he still alive? Speaking of vagina flavored ice cream, did you see how she was fondling that cone? Wow!! And I feel really sorry for the dude that got injected with nutmeg.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I think he's alive. She looked like she was enjoying her gina cone. hahaha
DeleteGood stuff! I now know never say colorful to a deaf person.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this useful (?) information.
ReplyDeleteRick Dee's was what the COOL kids listened to. Go ahead and write the blueballs post too!
ReplyDeleteSo how many people do you think went to the mirror to mouth the word "colorful" only to find out it looked like they were mouthing the word "colorful"?
ReplyDeleteLMAO!! I was one.. after I posted this.
DeleteDOnt think I didnt do it! I also tried "I love you,"which looked a lot like "inject me with nutmeg already."
DeleteHoly Shit! That's fucking funny!!
DeleteYes I did. I learned that you love LOVE LOVE LOVE the F bomb. LOL
ReplyDeleteand wow I remember Casey Kesem too and I'm almost 30. LOL
First of all, I love a good conversation about blue balls as much as the next person, so feel free to tell that story soon. And if you want to look like you're saying fuck you to someone, mouth the word vacuum. Works every time.
ReplyDeleteI found the useless fact about tears actually very interesting. But like you I probably won't remember which eye means what and if I'm crying I most likely won't be trying to concentrate which eye the first tear comes from. Great post and yes I learned some interesting useless information. By the way I wondered if you picked the pic of the girl with the gina cone on purpose. I thought the same thing that MRACP thought. hahaha
ReplyDeleteOf course I picked that pic of the girl licking the ice cream on purpose. I have a very visual mind and I want to share it with all of you! :)
DeleteOh my god. My thoughts were pretty much the same as yours; one hour of sex? Not since I was 15, sadly. You're managing 3.5 minutes? Fucking Kudos to you, sister. *sobs*
ReplyDeleteI second Mama G. But subtract a minute...
DeleteWell those went into my brain and right back out again, but I think I'll keep the nutmeg one in mind the next time I need to murder someone! (I'm kidding...maybe...)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I nominated you for a Very Inspiring Blogger Award.
Cheers from Brandy at http://brandysbustlings.blogspot.ca/
I hope your two toddlers didn't kill you LOL. How was your Mother's day?
ReplyDeleteThese factoids are so funny! Men don't hear as well because they have what I refer to as "selective hearing". The nutmeg thing--who the hell sits around and says, "Gee, I'm bored..let's inject grandma's nutmeg into our blood stream and see what happens!" The tear thing is REALLY COOL--hope I can remember that one next time I see it. I may never eat vanilla icecream again after reading this post and just to let you know, I poop with my feet flat on the floor. Okay I think I left you with a nice visual. Funny post Ellen!
ReplyDelete