NO! Not me, it's not my time...

I've never been the type of person who pays too much attention to their age.  I always say, it's how I feel inside.  Although, I still feel like a young whipper-snapper (okay, that doesn't sound like I'm feeling young) I'm starting to kind of freak out, this week I will be entering the last year of my 30's.

I'm really not sure if I should smile or cry?

Smile, because I'm still alive and kicking.

Cry, because well, 39 UGH!!!!!

Where did the time go?  Really?  Where?  Dammit!

Sometimes, I forget that I'm an adult until one of my snot slingers walk in and call me "Mommy."
Really?  I'm really a Mom!?!  I look around for the old lady they must be talking too, because my ass is only 23!
I can remember when I turned 16 and now I'm <sniff> <sniff>  old!

I'm not sure if I would feel the same way if my kids were older.

I chose not to have children during my party years, so I had my daughter when I was 29.
And then, was surprised at 35 to find out I was pregnant again!
I was a f'ing mess being pregnant at 35 years old!  I felt like it was just too damn old to be making another human being.  I guess my business was still young enough to do it though.  He turned out completely fine.


I know I'm not the only woman to have children later in life, but everyone around me is younger.  I think I need to start playing Bingo, there has got to be some women older than me there.
They will rub my head and call me a sweet young thing.  Hmm, kind of makes me feel like a dog. Or a hot guy, which I'm neither.  Which reminds me, my dog died and I'm not with a hot young guy!! ARRRR!!!

Maybe, I'm going through my midlife crisis?  Do women even go through a midlife crisis?  Or are they only for 40 something year old balding men?

What do women do, besides start lying about their age? Cause I'm definitely going to be doing that from now on.  I WILL be 39 forever!

How the hell would I even go about having a midlife crisis?  I know some people buy fancy sports cars, I can't do that I have no fucking money and shitty credit.  Maybe I could rent one for a weekend, is there room for a car seat?  I already color my hair cause of the grey hairs I've seen sprouting up.  What kind of adventure would I dare do?  Not give my son a nap anymore?  Well, that's just plain fucking crazy!
Oh well, maybe I can go through my midlife crisis when I turn 50.
Oh shit never mind, I forgot I will be 39 forever.

Although, I've been thinking a lot about what I would like to do or get for my birthday this year.
I'm not a material kind of girl, I love making memories.  So, something ran  through my head about making memories and what I would like for my birthday and maybe help me out with my threatening midlife crisis.

Chris doesn't have a grey tie

Put the kids to bed, and act out some of those scenes I read in Fifty Shades of Grey. Mind you, I don't want to do everything, because there was some crazy shit in that story.  I will leave out the flogger and the butt plugs.  I think the mild stuff would do just fine, blindfolded and tied up.  I wonder if Chris would mind if I ripped up a pair of his jeans for him to wear.  I will have to use my imagination while he's wearing them, I'm pretty sure Christian didn't have a beer belly.
I mentioned this stuff to Chris after I read the books, and he just laughed at me. He has no sense of adventure. Hmm..I wonder if he would do this for me for my birthday?  

I'll probably just end up at the Olive Garden, I do love those bread sticks though!

Thanks for reading,

xoxo