Friday, March 29, 2013

Holy Shit Balls!!

If I can quote the old fella on Duck Dynasty.. "Happy, Happy!"   That's how I'm feeling right now, along with loved, inspiring and just fucking EPIC!!! hehe.

I have been awarded 2 awards today, the first one proves I am awesome! Because, Menopausal Mother said so!  She has given me the "Epically Awesome Award of Epic Awesomeness."  Holy Shit Balls that is a mouth full!  (That's what she said.)

If you don't know who this funny blogger lady friend is, you need to go visit her as soon as you are done here. I'm pretty sure everyone who is anyone knows Marcia.  
Okay, so I'm supposed to give you 10 facts about myself and then pass this award off to 10 other bloggers.

I really hate talking about myself, I am quite boring..

1.  I am freaking horrified to go through tunnels, not the tunnels you drive in. The one's I'm talking about are the tunnels you sometimes have to go through when you are in a bounce house thingy.  I have re-occurring nightmares that I attempt to go through a tunnel and the fucking thing loses it's air and it collapses on me.
By the way, I had to go through one today at a kids place we went to, I didn't know it was there until I was far away from the entrance.  And, my kids were watching me.  I held my breath the whole time and prayed to the bouncy house Gods to let me make it through.

2.  My Dad used to call me "bones" when he was alive.  My friends in High School thought it was so funny and decided to call me "Boner."  Actually, they like to scream it down the halls. I used to get embarrassed easily back then.

3.  I can tell you that just because someone is skinny doesn't mean they are in shape.  I took the kids on a walking trail the other day and they had those exercise stations.  I was quite surprised that I was able to do 2 pull ups. Well, let me tell you what, the next day my whole upper body was so stiff and sore, I could barely move my arms! Never doing that business again. (ha-ha)

4.  I love dolphins!  I squeal every time I get to see one in the wild.

5.  I hate all holidays!

6. I gag whenever someone talks about boogers or snot.

7. I bitch and moan that I never get time away from my kids, but as soon as I'm gone for more than an hour I miss them horribly and want to go home to see them.

8.  I really miss the phrase "EAT ME."

9.  Some how during my first pregnancy my daughter who was 9 lbs 12 oz, 22 inches long, bent my sternum bone before she was born. When I lay down it looks like I have another (small) boobie.

10. I have no idea what a vaginal mesh is.  I see the lawyer commercials all the time, but I have no clue what the hell they are.

Okay, hope you learned something useful about me. Doubt it though.
Here are the 10 bloggers I am nominating for his EPIC award.

 The Basement Window
 Mom Rants and Comfy Pants
 Break my Wings I have a Broomstick too
Your Daily Dose of Damn
Flight Plan
More than Mommies
The Honest Truth by the Honest Bitch
Raising Wild Things
The Girl Next Door Drinks and Swears
Moore Organize Mayhem

The next award I was awarded was the "Very Inspiring Blogger Award."  Aubree at The Basement View. You have to go check out her blog. Her writing will blow your effing mind! TALENTED!!!

I'm supposed to tell you 7 things about myself and then nominate 15 bloggers for this award.

I'm seriously out of shit to tell you about me and it's almost 10:00 PM and I want to go read my book.
I thought, since Aubree was the one who gave me this award, I would tell you 7 facts about myself and how I know Aubree.

1.  I've known Aubree (The Basement View) since I was a teenager.
2.  I worked with Aubree at Burger King while in High School
3.  We rocked our BK visors back then!
4.  I was honored to be at Aubree's wedding a long ass time ago!
5.  The very first blog I ever read was hers.  She inspired me to start my own.
6.  We are working on a writing project together.
7.  We will be rich an famous from that project.

Ch Ch Ch Changes
Maple Syrup Land
Outlaw Mama
Delectably Dawn
My Half Assed Life
Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom
Funny Baby Videos
The Harried Mom
Crap No One Tells You
Snarky Heifer
Fear No More...A Day in the Life
The Non Martha Momma
Cranky Old Man
You're Doing it Wrong

Well, there you have it.. there is 15 more Very Inspiring Bloggers, go give them a pat on the back for this award.

I want to also thank 3 other bloggers who gave me the Liebster Award over the last week. That will be ELEVEN Liebster Awards. I am seriously really tired and I don't wanna play no-mo'!  But I do want to thank them.

A Mom's Point of View

Little Mayberry Life

Owl Always Blog

Thank you everyone for these amazing awards.

I want to let everyone know, that I'm working on making a brand new spankin' award.  I can't wait to give it away.

Thanks for reading

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Two-Take Exchange

"Hello everybody! My name is Aubree, and I am the writer of the 
Akashic Aisles: The Basement View blog. 
My good friend and author of Bad Word Mama has graciously agreed to be the other half to the whole that is the Two-Take Exchange. As part of this image-inspired blog-swap, she and I will take turns choosing an image that moves us in one way or another, and we will each write something about it (having no idea in what way the other found inspiration in the very same imagery until we make the actual swap). 

And THEN, we will each post the other's "take" on our respective blogs. Sounds fun, right? 
Below, is my "take" on the chosen image for this first week's swap. 
To see how Bad Word Mama was inspired by the same image, please visit 
We hope you enjoy reading our Two-Takes!"

Lay your troubles upon her like a veil.  
She will hold them until you are ready.

The foundation of entire worlds can be seen in the hard and distant antiquity of her eyes. 
Her concern weighs as much as her celebration, anymore.  She can't afford to fail, and yet failure is promised.  Always the focused Giver, she fears that her triumphs will become mere shadows that only sometimes float across her face.  
She weathers the assault, because she has a warrior's spirit.  She has a warrior's spirit, because she must.  And when the ruined and forgotten fall before her, she becomes the will of the wind: sweeping them up in a gust of remembrance, making them new again. 
Her pain has become a crown, forged by the fiery abundance of Love...a fragile crown without pomp, without jewels that glitter for attention.  Those jewels, she gave away - willingly - upon hearing that first cry and knowing that the kind of love that aches from intensity is now her kind of Love.  Wanting to be ever-present, she realizes - in an instant of heartache and wonder - that her protective measure will inevitably suffer limitation by another's design.  Her reach is long, her gaze holds longer, and there is not a collective - nor solitary - thing that can outlive her touch.  But the world must turn, and life must speed along, and the nest must succumb to the elements.  Alas, her greatest triumphs will take flight into a harsh and unforgiving sky.
She has to hold on, while letting go.
She is a home, a truth, a soaring knowledge.  She is a mountain, unmoving in courage.  She is a star of polarity, balancing the scales.  She is a belief that bends.  She is a cloud that takes the shape of all things hopeful when the day has become desperate.  Cleansing and shaping soft structures: she is sand and surf.  She is the seasons; she is the Sun.  She is all things in, by, and of Creation. 
So much more than a fertile womb: She, is a Mother.

I wrote this in dedication of all mothers that know what it means to love so intensely that it hurts, and trust me when the memory of the child I once was openly declares that a woman that gives birth does not automatically become a mother that loves. However, Life made up for what my childhood was so severely lacking, and it turns out that while writing this, I DID have a loving mother to think about: one that supports and forgives and worries incessantly and tries to understand and tries not to judge; one that not only keeps the nests that her own children outgrew inside the lovingly assembled shadowboxes of her mind, but that also helped to build the nests for the next generation...her grandchildren. She is the supreme example of motherhood, and humanity. She is my husband's mother and my son's grandmother. She is my utmost example and inspiration.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Simply Amazed!

I'm in awe right now, trying to find the right words to explain what just happened to me and my family.

First, let me start by giving you a little back story. (I promise it will be short)

We moved 3 hours away from our hometown in September 2012.  We moved here only knowing one person. We were excited and nervous about the change.  Anyway,  as soon as we moved, things went to shit.  Including Chris' truck was repossessed.  We came about a small car that ran for $200.  So we bought it of course. We had to have something.   We have one car for a family of 4 which tend to need to go in different directions.  Chris will have to be to work early sometimes, early will consist of being at work at 5am.  So, I have to drag the kids out of their warm comfy beds around 4:30 am. to bring Daddy to work. 
Sometimes he gets off really late.. a few times he's still not off of work when kids go to bed.  I have to wake them up again to pick up Daddy.  We do this day in and day out.  Of course we bitch about it, but deep down I'm thankful we have a car to do these things.  I know what it feels like not to have my own car or some place to call home. (That's a different story all together.)

Okay, back story over..

My mom was an only child, so I have no Aunt's or Uncles from her side of the family.  Although, she had a best friend who I've known my whole life.  We call her "Aunt Clare."  

Aunt Clare has always been very generous, she is an amazing person.  When my Mom passed away in 2011, sometimes I feel like Aunt Clare kind of took over Mom's role to make sure me and my sis stay in line.  Just basically thinking about our needs or helping out anyway she can.  Like I said, things went to shit beyond our control when we moved. Aunt Clare, sent money to help us keep our head above water.  

She travels a lot and makes friends every where she goes.  She loves the beach so in the summer you can find her laying on the beach in Daytona for about 5 weeks.  She's met quite a few great friends while doing this over the years.  

She has a friend who is getting a bit older and his legs aren't working as well as they used to.  He decided or I don't know, maybe his doctor decided he should no longer drive. 

He asked Aunt Clare if she knew anyone in need of a vehicle? 
Because, she is so generous and thinks of other people, she automatically said, I know the perfect family in need of a vehicle.  Yep, me and my family. 

I just got a call from her today, telling me if we want this vehicle then it's ours!

How much right?  

How does the price of FREE sound??  WTF! REALLY!!!!

The vehicle is a 2001 Ford Expedition.. we are currently driving a 2000 Saturn with no air and a water leak.  

I'm in awe! I'm totally amazed that a man who has never met me, is giving me and my family a car for free.. for not one red cent! 

It literally brings tears to my eyes, that someone can be so selfless.  He could sell it for at least a couple thousand dollars. 

I've always been the kind of person who doesn't say no.  I like to help people, and make people happy, even if it means I'm not happy.  Could this be karma?  I think it is! 

We are leaving on Saturday to Daytona to go pick our new vehicle and I'm going to give that man the biggest heartfelt hug ever!  I will try to hold back the tears, but not sure if that will be possible.  I want him to know how much he is helping my family!

I wanted to share my good news with everyone, and also remind you that there are people out there who do care.  Who like to help people.. Who aren't in it just for themselves!  

Thanks for reading!

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Why? Oh please tell me why?

Everyone has questions.  Questions about life, about after life, mysteries of the universe.

Those questions are definitely worth asking and one day we may all find out the answers to those questions.
But, for now here are a few questions that I ask myself frequently. I personally think my questions are important and deserve answers.

I must warn you, before you read my life altering questions.. my mind as simple as it may be is a mystery in itself.

1.  Why do I have to pee as soon as I start doing dishes?

2.  Why of all things my daughter could teach her little brother, she taught him how to whine while saying, "I'm Bored."

3.  Why is it when I’m trying to yell at one kid, I call him every name but his own, including the dog’s name!

4.  Why do I seem to forget IF I put conditioner in my hair every time I take a shower?

5.   Why do I laugh when someone says or writes the word “Sammich?”

6.  Why does it tickle my ear when someone whispers in it?

7.  Why do the kids think I can control what’s coming on T.V?

8.  Why do I have to get into a bad mood for no reason every damn month?

9.  Why does that one grey hair have to stick out like I’m a fucking unicorn?

10. Why do movies like "Overboard and Legally Blonde" make me cry?

11.  Why can’t I just win the freaking lottery already?!?

I do believe I warned you!  If you think you have answers to any of my questions please feel free to post them.  That way I can move on to bigger and better things.  Like, how to get my son to quit face palming himself or how to use a plunger properly.

Thanks for reading.