Friday, February 22, 2013

Am I Inspiring?

There are many, many bloggers I follow, but there is one that has been so supportive of my little blog here.  She's never in competition with anyone else, she answers my stupid questions about blogging and the blogging community.  She was one of the first people to comment on one of my first posts.  I just came to find out that we live in the same state, merely a couple hours away from each other.

Marcia at Menopausal Mother is an amazing story teller and makes me laugh all the time.
She has given me, little ole' me the "Inspiring Blog" award!  Really?!?  I must admit she is the one who inspires me!

Thank you Marcia...  smooches
Now I have to state 7 facts about myself and pass this award along to 15 other bloggers.

1.  As you can probably tell from the title of my blog, I curse way too much.  Well, that depends on what each person thinks is too much.  I think it's just the right amount of "F" words.

2.  I only drink one cup of coffee per day. Coffee makes me poop.

3.  I love the word poop, only the word. Not sure why, but it always makes me laugh.

4. I am working on my first novel, it's taken much longer than I had expected.  I blame it on Facebook, I can hear it calling to me all day long!

5.  I used to be a total addict to T.V.  Now I'm addicted to reading. I try to limit my reading to when the kids are sleeping.  I have well rested children!

6.  I used to try to find the positive in every aspect in my life.  I was starting to make myself sick with all the sappy shit I was feeling.  Now, I try to find the humor in life.  I love it, it keeps me smiling and I'm not such a bitch. (sometimes)

7.  My boyfriend and I have been together for going on 12 years, we have 2 children.  We will probably never get married, the commitment scares the shit out of me!

Okay, here are the 15 bloggers who I feel deserve this award:

My Mom's a Whack Job

Flight Plan

Crap No one tells you

Elbow Deep in Someone Else's Shit

You're Doing it Wrong

First of All Everyone is Stupid

A Plucky Procrastinator

Can't Keep it in No more

Sassy and Sarcastic

Sippy Cups and Booze

Mommy Needs a Break

Mom's World

Chubby Chatterbox

Puzzle Me Complete

The Girl Next Door Drinks and Swears

I tried to nominate a few different kinds of blogs.. people who make me laugh and entertain me. Also, a few that I feel are really great and don't have nearly as many followers as they deserve.

If you choose to accept this award, all you have to do is leave a comment here letting me know that you received it.  On your blog, tell us all 7 facts about yourself and then, pass this award on to 15 bloggers of your choosing.

I'm out!!


Thursday, February 21, 2013

Is she a student or a salesman?!?

One thing I truly dislike.. screw it.. I HATE.. all the shit school sends home with my daughter to try to sell.

There has been 3 things so far this year.

First, Jump rope for Heart... Yes, yes it's a great cause.  But, damnit to hell how many times to I have to bug my family and friends to donate?  It didn't make difference anyway, I was the only one who donated!

Second, Yankee Candles.  A couple of weeks ago they sent her home with a big packet full of shit to help her sell them.  Right, like I'm going to let her walk around our apartment complex trying to sell candles, when you can just go to Bed Bath and Beyond and buy them yourself.

Third-  Today she brought home another packet full of magazine subscriptions.  Apparently, we (ME) have to give them names and addresses of our family and friends so they can solicit magazines to them.

"Mommy, if we give them 7 names then I get a penguin."

"What kind of penguin?" I ask.

"I don't know what kind, they just said a penguin, Mommy please can we do this?" she pleads.

"When is it due?"

"Umm, Tomorrow." she give me a big smile.

What the hell.. nothing like giving a Mom some notice!

If it makes her happy, I guess we do it.  (I DO IT)

What makes me mad is that they wave all these prizes in front of their faces tempting them to SELL,SELL, SELL!  These prizes are junk!

I swear when I pick her up from school tomorrow, she better have a real fucking penguin waddling behind her!

If anyone gets a card in the mail from Emilie asking to buy a magazine, you don't have to buy them.

At least that's what she said.  They only wanted the names and addresses.

Sorry in advance ya'll!

Thanks for reading

It's Friday and I just picked up my daughter from school.. here's a picture of the penguin she got.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Deciphering Andrew

There are words that my three year old son says that sound like something else entirely.
A lot of the times, I just have no damn clue what he is saying.  I stop what I'm doing and stare at his mouth trying to figure out what the hell he is saying.

Here are just a few examples:

Fireman -  He must have told me at least a 100 times that he loves Fireman.  WTF, he loves fireman?  What does he know about firemen?  Did he know that Mommy loves me a nice looking fireman herself? He finally had to show me what he was talking about, because apparently I was wrong.  He loves SPIDERMAN!
Oh!! Well thank good.. more fireman for Mama.

Pooter -  No, Andrew it is called Poot or Fart!   "No Mama, you playing on your pooter."
               Pooter = Computer

Titty -  "Mama, can I play with that Titty?"
             "Andrew, those are Mommy's we don't play with them."
             Titty = Kitty

Jumpy -  I watch a 2 year old little girl during the week.  One day in the car, little girl (Shelby)  just didn't feel like talking.  It was only 7:30 in the morning and she just wasn't feeling it.
"Mama, Shelby being jumpy."  Andrew asked?
I look in the rear view mirror at Shelby and she seems just fine to me, she was looking out the window minding her own business.  "No Andrew, she's sitting quietly."
"Shelby, Shelby, Shelby."  Andrew chants.
"No Andrew, don't look at me." Shelby screams.
"See Mama, Shelby being jumpy again."
OH!!!     Jumpy = Grumpy      

Basically, I've learned the pattern.. C&K is pronounced with a T.
J is actually supposed to be G.
I've tested this theory, he can say words that start with J and T.
For some reason he can't say the "SP" it always comes out like an "F."

It shouldn't be funny to me, but I can't help but laugh when he says, "Sissy needs a fanking."

He has a bad habit of referring to himself as "ME."
"Mama, Me wanna go to the park."
"Andrew, "I", say I want to go to the park."  I correct him.
He always corrects himself, although, he never says it correct the first time.
I'm always, always correcting him.
I swear I sound like a fucking pirate. "I, I, I"

Thanks to Andrew he has started a whole new language that only he and I know. (Well, I'm still learning)

Thanks for reading