Saturday, April 27, 2013

One Hundred & One Year

Today I am celebrating my 100th blog post here at Bad Word Mama. I've thought long and hard (yep, I snickered when I wrote that) about what the hell would I write about and I decided to give you 100 facts about myself.  I have always been an open book to anyone, although I don't like to talk about myself.  If anyone asks me a question I will tell them and I will tell the truth no matter how embarrassing the question may be.  I've given a lot of facts about myself on this blog thanks to all the awards I've won. You may see some of those facts here because truthfully I'm too damn lazy to go look back at those posts to see what I've written already. The facts will not be in order so I hope don't get too dizzy. I hope I can come up with 100 facts about myself with out boring you to death. Some may be consider T.M.I,  sorry in advance. 

  1. My full name is Ellen Honor Fischkelta,  Honor was my Mom's first name. Honor is also my daughters middle name. 
  2. Did I mention that I hate my name, it's an old ladies name. 
  3. I am going to be 39 years old in May. (son-a-va-bitch)
  4. I am a true Gemini, I'm freaking fickle and I really do have a spit personality.  I haven't been diagnosed with one, but people who know me would definitely agree with me.  
  5. I think Adam Sandler is sexy.  Not in a physical way, I love his sense of humor I think it's really sexy.  
  6. When I was a young I used to put maxi pads on the bottom of my bare feet and climb trees. 
  7. I sound like an elephant when I sneeze.
  8. I laugh very, very hard when someone falls down.
  9. I have a soft spot in my heart for old people.
  10. My daughter has an attitude just like me!
  11. I can watch Duck Dynasty everyday all day
  12. I hate my fucking computer, the computer screen goes white like every 30 seconds. (Damn you asshole Dell)
  13. I watched both my parents die.
  14. I almost died while having my daughter.
  15. I'm addicted to Dr. Pepper.. or Dr. Thunder when I'm broke.
  16. Most days I don't get out of my pajamas.
  17. Before Chris and I started dating I was in a relationship for 10 years with another guy.
  18. I hated high school and used to skip school at least twice a week.
  19. I firmly believe men and women can not be friends. Unless one or both are gay. 
  20. I believe in God, but I don't go to church.
  21. Politics confuse the shit out of me.
  22. My favorite verb is Fuck.
  23. I can't wait to go through menopause.
  24. I had a miscarriage last year. 
  25. I have a big problem telling people no! Unless it's Chris asking for sex.
  26. I care what people think too much. 
  27. I read 2 to 3 books a week.
  28. My best friend took her own life in 2001.
  29. I hate to cook
  30. I love to clean
  31. I have to go to a laundry mat to do laundry.
  32. We live in a 2 bedroom apartment that is way too fucking small.
  33. I smoke too much.
  34. I used to smoke pot when I was in high school.
  35. Don't ever use scissiors when trimming your lady garden. (TRUST ME)
  36. I can't sleep when my leg hairs get too long and rubs up against the sheets.
  37. My first job was at Burger King and I worked there for 4 years.
  38. I was in a car accident in 1995, ended up with a 4 inch scar down the side of my face. People always think it's a pillow mark, like I just woke up. 
  39. My sister and I didn't get along until after our Dad died.
  40. My favorite adjective is Fuck.
  41. I do tons of favors for everyone, but I don't ask favors of anyone else.
  42. I hate to drive on the interstate.
  43. I don't get enough sleep at night because I read too long.
  44. I'm having a really hard time with this list.
  45. I used to have a boss who hated me and tried to get me to quit and I told him to fuck off!  He ended up quiting soon after. HA! Suck it ass-licker!
  46. One of my favorite sayings is: "Suck it up."
  47. I hate the word Pussy. It has too many "S's" in it, sounds too juicy.
  48. You can call me anything but a "fucking bitch."
  49. I hate when people roll their eyes too much. 
  50. Thanks to this blog, I've found the real Ellen and let her come out and play.
  51. I choose my battles when it comes to people and their opinions.
  52. I have horrible genes, I'm gonna be a wrinkled mess in 10 years.
  53. I really, really want to win the lottery!!
  54. When I hear that someone is having money problems, I want to help them so much, but then I remember I'm having money problems too.
  55. I'm writing 2 books at the same time.
  56. I can't stand when people can't laugh at themselves.
  57. I want arms like Kelly Ripa.
  58. I have OCD when it comes to the doors being locked. 
  59. Holy shit this is taking forever!
  60. Chris and I don't sleep in the same room because he snores way too much. I feel bad about it too. Until, it's bed time. 
  61. My favorite number is 5. 
  62. I love exploring new areas.
  63. I love scary movies, but I watch them through my fingers.
  64. I believe in ghosts.
  65. I don't believe when someone commits suicide that they go to Hell. I believe that have to come back and face the same trial and tribulations in the next life.
  66. I love the show Long Island Medium.
  67. I've had my dead parents and best friend visit me in dreams to let me know that they are okay.
  68. I want to be a famous writer.
  69. Not a fan of this number. Ha-Ha!
  70. I would love for my blog to go viral. Not sure what that means, but if I can get paid for it. Sign me up!
  71. I used to be on anxiety meds and quit when I was pregnant with our 3rd baby before I had a miscarriage.  I really need to go back on them.
  72. I feel like I live in a little bubble and I love it.
  73. I have a strict schedule for my kids and I hate it when it gets screwed up.
  74. I would dump Chris for Tatum Channing or Matthew McConaughey.
  75. I just had to Google Matthew's last name because I can never remember how to spell it. 
  76. I HATE fake people! And I can see right through their little facade.
  77. Uncle Si on Duck Dynasty is my favorite. "Jack!"
  78. I used to read inspirational quotes, but then I realized that they don't inspire me.  Funny shit inspires me. 
  79. I have a horrible time finding sunglasses. My face is too skinny and my nose is too big. 
  80. I spend way too much time thinking about my writing projects and not enough time writing them. 
  81. I'm really starting to think I live the fucking 'hood!  (I have another blog post about that coming up.)
  82. I hate liars.
  83. I don't get along well with mothers who think their kids do no wrong! I say BULLSHIT!! I just saw that little sucker eat a fucking booger!
  84. I like to tell people I say what's on my mind. But, that's not the whole truth, I bite my tongue a lot!
  85. I love Tosh.O!  I think he is hilarious! I love everything that comes out of his mouth. How is it okay for him to say all the shit he says but god for bid a blogger does!! SCREW YOU T.V.  stars!!
  86. I have more blogger friends than real ones. 
  87. I hate being late for an anything! 
  88. I'm not a fan of Adam Levine's talking voice, but I love his singing voice. 
  89. There is never a time or place to act serious! I like to joke and have fun all the time. 
  90. I can read something heartfelt and turn it around to something foul or sexual. I think that can be considered a talent?
  91. Coffee makes me poop.
  92. Kids annoy the shit out of me. Yes, including my own!
  93. I know the secret on how to understand a man! A) Shut the fuck up. B) What a women says is what a man hears, nothing else! C) They like naked women. 
  94. My feelings don't get hurt easily. Which I find weird, because I care what people think. Maybe that's the Gemini in me. 
  95. Thanks to my daughter, I'm learning 3rd grade multiplication all over again. 
  96. When I get really pissed off I punch things and like to break other people's shit. 
  97. When I read a book or watch a movie, I don't critique it. I dive right into the story and enjoy every bit. 
  98. I'm not a fan of sweet stuff. Unless, it's donuts! YUM. 
  99. There is one blogger friend I've met since I started blogging who has been my biggest cheerleader who likes me for who I am. Inspite of all the bad words I say. (you know who you are)
  100. I never take anything for granted. I've learned to live without a lot of things I thought I could NEVER live without.

Not only is this my 100th blog post. I'm also celebrating my 1 year anniversary of starting this blog.  I started it on April 27, 2012!

I hope I didn't bore you too much.  I don't blame you if you just skimmed this list. I probably would have done the same thing. It took me like 3 fucking days to complete this post!  I was bored after fact #23. 

Thank you from the bottom of my bitchy-frozen-ass heart for supporting me and reading my blog.



  1. I just love, love , LOVE getting to know you better!!! NO# 6,8,25,91 had me LOL-ing! NO#60,64,86 I am EXACTLY the same on. NO#28, 13 so very sad....NO#14, 24 I would like to hear more about when you feel up to it. AND NO#99 gave me a big ol' smile!! Happy 100 blog post day! Love ya Lady! XOXO

    1. Thank you Marcia! I will tell you anything you would like to know. When shit lands on my head I wipe it off and tell the world about it. Thanks for your support!

  2. Excellent! Funny stuff here. And I found another Duck Dynasty fan!

    Hey, Jack! Here's to another 100 posts. :)


    1. Love, love Duck Dynasty!
      My all time fave: "I sting like a butterfly and punch like a flea." -Si

      Thanks - S

  3. Happy birthday blog. it's always a neat milestone to pass, I had no idea that your blog was only 2 months younger than mine, I had the feeling you'd been doing this for years.

    I loved #65, that is such an excellent way to look at what happens to suicide victims.
    How can you not love 69?? That's my all time favourite number. (But just the number ok??)
    and as for #90 I can turn absolutely any sentence dirty, and it is definitely a talent, so be proud of that shit.

    So glad you've been around for a year, I hope this place lasts a hell of a lot longer.

    1. Thank you for the great compliment, I feel like I've been doing it for years.

  4. I too will be 39 in May! Maxi pads for tree climbing, huh? Well whaddya know-that makes sense! My blogiversary is on June 3rd, so my blog is just a little younger than yours. When the big day comes, I'll try not to steal your ideas... ;-)

    1. When is your birthday? Mine is the 26th. I never think of it as stealing ideas. I think of it as great minds think a like ;)

  5. Kudos to you for being able to come up with a 100 facts... not sure I could come up with even 20... hahah

    Congratulations on 100 posts and 1 year:)

  6. I love getting to know you and I stopped and pictured you at every single point. So it took me a REALLY long time to make it through this list. But that's okay because it was awesome. You were one of my inspirations for starting my 2nd blog and I'm so happy you did. Happy Anniversary and keep up the inspiring work. I'll be one of the first people in line to buy your book!

    1. Wow, you are quite dedicated! :)
      It makes me warm and fuzzy to know I was an inspiration for your blog. I love it. You have an amazing sense of humor. I wish we lived closer, we would have a blast.
      Shit, I will give you the book IF I ever finish it.

  7. That's a lot of information about you to assimilate. Congratulations on the anniversary of your blog.

    1. Yep, it was a lot to write and to actually think about.
      Thanks for stopping by Steve

  8. CONGRATS. Everyone does new things blog wise now a days and I guess I need to figure me out some things to do. any ideas. hit me back.

    I would probably have more post if I hadnt of deleted them durin the period of those hate comments and I've been around for 3 yrs i do know that

    1. Wow that's a long time. I didn't realize you had hate comments.. that's horrible. Thanks for your support!

  9. Happy Blog Birthday and happy 100th post, it was great to read this list and get to know you sooo much better. I never get tired of these posts, because I seem to find that I have a lot in common with a lot of the blog moms I follow and it makes me feel so much better...
    <3 Kimbra

    1. Thanks Kimbra, I like reading stuff about people too. It reassures me that I'm not as fucked up as I thought I was.
      well, somewhat. :)

  10. I read the whole thing JACK! I gotta say In in love with Jas. Congratulations on turning 100 posts and one year older! And 39 isnt so bad...(said the 50 year old woman.)

    1. Haha!!! I love Jase too, he is funny even when he's not trying. Thanks for stopping by Zoe. :)

  11. Congrats on you 100th post, when did you start your blog? I started in June. Sheila@The Frugal Exerciser

    1. I started one year ago today! YAY. April 27th.
      Thanks for stopping by Shelia.


  12. Congratulations, Ellen! The 1-year milestone is an exciting one, and you've celebrated it just right! Loved learning more about ya, especially that your middle name is Honor--love it! Also appreciate that you find a sense of humor sexy, too! AND finally, thanks for the lady gardening tips ;)

  13. Happy Happy.... I just caught up on my blog reads and saved yours for last because I was looking forward to it. You didn't disappoint. In fact... Had to go pee in the middle of reading because I was literally lol'g. Congrats!

    Sis 1

  14. You never fail to make me laugh!! I'm not sure now that your under 200 followers but I've nominated you for the Liebster Award! Check it out here -->

  15. I read them all! And many of these things make me think that we could be friends for sure :) #80,#58,#54,#41 and #26 in particular. And #71? Do what you gotta do to take care of you, girl. I've had to learn that one. Taking care of yourself makes you an even better mama :)

  16. New follower from the I Don't Like Mondays Blog Hop! Also a fan of DD, although I admit I just started watching and coffee makes me poop too =D


Lay it on me!