Sunday, April 14, 2013

How many kids do I have?

For the love of Sweet Potato Fries!!

Why do Dad's think it's funny to torment children?

Okay, maybe torment is a strong word... but hearing the screaming sounds is like torment to me.

I can't blame it all on Chris, my Dad used to do it too.

In my Dad's case..

Commercial just came on, time to tickle, chase or make us giggle uncontrollably.
He actually used to take his false teeth out and chase us with them. Yep, he was an old fart!

Oops.. commercial is over.

"Hush, you two! I can't hear my program."

Chris doesn't really care what's on T.V., If he gets a wild hair up his ass he's gonna share his energy with the little ones.  I love that Chris plays with the kids.  What gets my goose is that Emilie is 9 and do you know what it sounds like when a 9 year old girl screams?  I really believe the neighbors think she is getting murdered.  Really!

For some reason the kids hate when he acts like a robot.  So, he does it over and over.
"Ro-bot  co-ming to get An-drew.. beep, beep."  walking and turning his head like a freak-ass robot you really don't ever want to meet.

"No Daddy, Me not like da rowbot!"  Andrew cries as he making his way up my ass for safety.

All three of them go running down the hallway sounding like freaking bulls fighting each other and the walls.
We live in an apartment, an apartment that has thin walls, I can hear the neighbors I know sure as shit they can hear our drama seeping into their walls. I can see them now, holding on to their valuables so they don't topple over like they are experiencing an earthquake.

"Oh Fred, those youngins' are at it again!"

Thank God, we now have a boy he can rough-house with.  Andrew really can take it pretty well.

Chris used to try to wrestle with Emilie.
That didn't work out too well.

Emilie is one of those people who are even threatened with a tickle she laughs.. and if you do tickle her, her laughter soon will turn to tears and tears turn into rage. She gets up all red faced, drool hanging from her cheeks.
"DADDY, I DON'T LIKE TO BE TICKLED! AHHHHH!!!!"  She runs off to her room, but not before she let's out a scream that will make your eyelashes fall off and slams her door.

It ends the same way.
 "Good God! Can you all please shut the hell up!!"

Everyone scurries to their appropriate areas.

If I could only get them to rough-house, wrestle and play with out the blood curdling screams that come from the kids. And to make sure that freak of a robot impression never makes another appearance.

Thanks for reading.


  1. I know I should not laugh but my husband does the same way my son is only 5. Last night Charlie could not find a toy he wanted and he kept begging his dad to help him find it and instead of getting up and looking he just kept watching tv and telling him look her or there. It would have been much easier if I had found it but I was not daddy and he did not want me. Men can be so STUPID sometimes.

    1. Haha, I do the same thing. I just keep my ass sitting and watching the mess! LMAO

  2. Thanks for posting to my Silly Sunday blog hop. You were not deleted.

    1. Thanks Allen. I was actually kind of nervous! EEEKK.. glad I made the cut. I love your blog hop!!

  3. Hilarious! I totally hear ya; my hubs thinks it's great fun to get our 1 year old son and my 1 year old nephew to run back and forth yelling their heads off. In the house. It's great.

  4. I don't think I ever "tormented" my daughters. I did embarass them often, and I suppose you could classify that as "mental torment", but, hey, it's what I do. ;)


    1. Embarrass, well I can do that. That's fun to me.

  5. I used to get tormented in fun by my dad... I did not do this with either of my daughters... life has been a little more quiet:)

  6. Men folks like to be aggravating and get one folks nerves and tease and pick at their kids. Esp if they are daddys. But I have noticed all men like to pick and tease women.

  7. My husband loves to torment my children too. The boy DOES NOT like it, the girl wants more more more! She too sounds like she's being murdered, and she loves every minute of it.

    He can pick on them all he wants, because otherwise he'll be picking on me like that. I'm with my son, I don't like it either!

    1. I know I shouldn't bitch, cause he will pick on me too. I hate that more than the kids screaming.

  8. MY kid grew up without his Dad but my brother would come to down rile him up and I swear to God he would leave at the peak of the agitation just to burn my butt...I was so appreciative.

  9. As soon as I read the title I thought ut oh now what has Chris done! I can still hear Emilie screaming from our times in Ocala. Some things never change. Funny stuff Ellen. Just think if your life was boring you wouldn't have anything to blog about. Hugs to the kids!!!

  10. I think the screams come with all that crazed rough way around it. If you find a way, let me know. My kids are older and they still do well as my husband.....he still chases them and tickles them.

    1. I know I won't find a way around it. But, I do feel better writing about it and all these great comments. I'm not alone.

  11. Oh my gosh that is so my brother-in-law, he just tortures and torments the kids. Even when they are screaming for him to stop! One time at Target he put on a scary mask from the Halloween section and jumped out and scared them! Whoa! Talk about blood curdling! For the next TWO years, I couldn't get my son or my niece to go into the Halloween section at Target!

  12. Our 2 year old likes to be "surprised" and giggle hysterically, but one time her dad really did surprise her and I don't think he will ever forget the tears and the shaking. Pretty sure he learned his lesson. Well, on that at least.

  13. I have the SAME issue here. LOL

    ps I nominated you for a liebster - check it out


  14. I think it may be left over from when they were big brothers to little sisters. I never really got it, but it's really annoying.

  15. My husband has the same problem but with me!, I'm the nutter that chases and makes my lad making him scream :) top fun.
    Really lol at "but not before she let's out a scream that will make your eyelashes fall off", thx.


Lay it on me!