Weekend full of fun and a bank robbery..

Hey there all, I gotcha in here didn't I?  You read something about a bank robbery didn't you? Well, I won't lie to you.. not too much.  I had quite the weekend and yes it did include a bank robbery. I didn't rob the bank, not like I haven't thought about it, but I know damn well I would never get away with it. I'm hate running!

My friend, Kyley and I went out of town this weekend, when I say out of town I really mean a half hour away. Far enough away, but not too close that the kids didn't ask every 10 freaking seconds "how much longer until we get there?"
Yes, we brought our kids and left our men at home.  Yes, I know IDIOTS!!

FRIDAY - Big storm here, wind blowing rain pounded against our windows. Nothing out of the ordinary.

SATURDAY A.M. -  Chris had to go to work for a bit, after he left he called and asked if I had a problem with the door locks the day before.  Nope, no problem here I answered.  I got my key and opened the front door to inspect the locks.  I really had no idea what the hell to look for but I took a shot at it.  Holy F'ing Shit!!!
The dead bolt lock and the handle lock had definitely been messed with. I couldn't even get my key into the deadbolt lock.  It looked like someone was jamming something in those holes and tearing that shit up.
(Haha, that sounded really dirty)
So yep, someone definitely was trying to get in here. I don't know what the fuck they are looking for we have NOTHING of value! We sold everything when we moved for money.  But, it still scared the shit out of me.

SATURDAY MID MORNING -  Packed and ready to go, Kyley picks up me and the kids and we make our way. Although, Kyley had to stop at the bank before we go to the beach.  I sit in the car with all the kids while she goes into the bank.  She comes out a few minutes later and states that there was a weird fucking man in that bank.  She was at the teller window and a man came up behind her breathing down her neck. Seriously, everyone knows correct bank etiquette!  She proceeded to tell me what she heard and saw and how uncomfortable she felt.  I was intrigued so I looked behind me to see the bank door and I saw a man come out in a jacket and a baseball cap.  I asked her "Is that the guy?"  She responded "Yes."  I asked if he took his baseball cap off while he was inside and she said no.  Everyone knows that most banks make you take off your hat and sunglasses when you come in.  We watched the man, cross the parking lot and the street.  He didn't run but he wasn't walking slowly. I noticed that the man never took his right hand out of his pocket.   Putting it behind us, we left for our mini vacation.

Here is an actual photo from a news website. (http://www.cfnews13.com)
Look at the left picture you will see a person in the background. That's my friend!!

A few minutes later Chris called me while he was on his way home from work.  I told him that the locks on our front door were in fact jacked up and to call the apartment place office and to tell them to change our locks ASAP.  He agreed and then proceeded to tell me that the bank by our house looked like it was robbed. There were cops everywhere including helicopter.  I looked at Kyley while she drove.
"Holy shit! Oh my God! Are you kidding me?" I yelled to Chris on the phone.
Kyley said, "What the hell happened?"
"The bank you were just at was robbed."
I told Chris what had just happened to us or Kyley at the bank.
We were both freaking out, that a bank was being robbed while she was walking out the damn door.
Kyley, decided that she would call the bank and let them know that she saw the guy leave and what direction he went in.  She called and the person who answered the phone said that he remembered her and she left at the perfect time. She told them what she knew and they thanked her and told her that they already had someone following the guy.

SATURDAY AFTERNOON - Finally made it to the hotel and the sky looks like it's going to dump some wet shit right on top of us.  Man, this suck!  The hotel is actually a resort,which includes restaurants, bars and a huge pool with a kiddie area.

This is part of the Kid's area.
(That's not my kid in the photo)

This is my kid, riding a whale. 

I keep forgetting that you can get sunburned even when the sun doesn't make an appearance. You would think someone who grew up in Florida would remember that. Nope.. every time I forget.  

SATURDAY EVENING -

We finally corralled the kids out of the pools and got them dressed to go out on the town. Haha! Yah right.

But, we did some shopping at Ron Jon's Surf Shop and some other little shops in the area. 

Shopping Trip - Cool fish tank. See the shark back there?

SATURDAY NIGHT -

The last time I had talked to Chris was around 3:30 that afternoon.  I called him around 8:30 or so to tell him goodnight and he didn't answer, I called and called.  I texted him and let him know to call me. No answer. I found it odd because like everyone else his phone is with him at all times.  I texted him again and told him that I was worried because of our door/lock situation, I told him that I would call the cops to check on him if he didn't call me in 5 minutes.  So, 20 minutes went by and no word.  I decided to call the non-emergency number and see if they could check on him.  I felt like an idiot, but all kinds of crazy shit was going through my head.  Shit, I don't even want to type.  Anyway, 15 minutes later, my phone rings and it's Chris.

"Why the hell did you call the cops?" he asked.

"I was worried about you and you weren't answering your phone."

He ended up dropping his phone inside his recliner.  

He didn't think it was too funny, he was sound asleep and freaked out when he saw a cop at the door.
The officer made him walk all the way outside to the patrol car to verify his identity and to make sure he wasn't being held hostage. Well, I think that's why he had to go outside.  I couldn't help to giggle while he bitched about being woke up. 

But, I felt better and had a good night sleep. 

Thanks for reading

xoxo

P.S.
Forgot to mention above, the bank robber guy was caught on Sunday! 

Branded

I'm so excited to be a part of this event. 

Today, I am helping two amazing writers reveal their book cover and to introduce you to an amazing story.

I had the privilege to read the first chapter of this book.
When I finished, I was in awe!  I wanted more! I wanted all of it and I wanted it right then. 

Branded (A Sinner's Series)

Written by:

Abi Ketner & Melissa Kalicicki

Descritpion
Twenty years ago the Commander came into power and murdered all who opposed him. In his warped mind, the seven deadly sins were the downfall of society. He created the Hole where sinners are branded according to their sins and might survive a few years. At best. 
Now LUST wraps around my neck like blue fingers strangling me. I’ve been accused of a crime I didn’t commit and now the Hole is my new home.

Darkness. Death. Violence. Pain.

Now every day is a fight for survival. But I won’t die. I won’t let them win.
The Hole can’t keep me. The Hole can’t break me.
I am more than my brand. I’m a fighter.
My name is Lexi Hamilton, and this is my story.

Biography

Abi Ketner Is a registered nurse with a passion for novels, the beaches of St. John, and her Philadelphia Phillies. A talented singer, Abi loves to go running and spend lots of time with her family. She currently resides in Lancaster, Pennsylvania with her husband, triplet daughters and two very spoiled dogs.

Melissa Kalicicki received her bachelor’s degree from Millersville University in 2003. She married, had two boys and currently lives in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Aside from reading and writing, her interests include running and mixed martial arts. She also remains an avid Cleveland sports fan. 

Abi and Missy met in the summer of 1999 at college orientation and have been best friends ever since. After college, they added jobs, husbands and kids to their lives, but they still found time for their friendship. Instead of hanging out on weekends, they went to dinner once a month and reviewed books. What started out as an enjoyable hobby has now become an incredible adventure.

The release date is TBD.

If you would like to stalk Missy an Abi please see links below.

Twitter

Abi & Missy website

Facebook

Good Reads

I have a surprise for you!  The authors wanted me to share the first chapter of their book with you. Click the link below to start reading.  Enjoy!!

Read "Branded" Chapter 1 right here!

Letting it all out!

I've decided to write down all my bitchy thoughts and rants throughout the month and make one post.
It really bothers me when I have more than one bitch ass post a month.


Beware, there may be a few that make no sense and will look like I'm going now where with this.
Well, that's because it's not going anywhere!  I want it out of me.

So here it goes...

**Please stop talking!

**No! That one blog post you think was about you was NOT. Let's make this perfectly clear.. I NEVER EVER think about you!

**Where is my wine??

**What the hell are you thinking? Have some fucking self-worth!

**I really need new bras? Where the hell did my boobs go?

**Dammit, I can't write when the kids talk all the damn time. Why don't they beleive me when I tell them there is actually a game called, "The Quiet Game."

**I can't hear the voices in my head when you're so loud!

**Why are people so critical of others? Go get laid!!

**I may be wrong but when someone writes a fiction book it means it's made up. It's someone's imagination. Why do dill-holes have to rip it apart because the author decided to leave out one landmark in a major city?  She/He didn't feel like they had to include it,who the fuck cares! Write your own damn book, shit base it off of that one landmark if you want.  The point of the fiction book is to sit back and enjoy it.  I think some people read just to look for mistakes!!

"Those who can, do; Those who can't; teach criticize"

**I'm doing some serious bra shopping this weekend!

**I think I may delete my Facebook!

**People keep tweeting me and I have no idea how to reply or how to send a tweet. 

**It's so freaking hot here! I know there are tons and tons of people up north who are shoveling their driveways still. Mind you I will NEVER live where there is snow. But, dammit can't we have spring? In Florida, it goes from Winter right to Summer!  Holy shit that's where my boobs went. I sweat those suckers right off!!

**Here's to people who don't like me because I use bad words! Screw you! Crap, that's wasn't a bad word. Let's try this again.. Bite my ASS!!  The name of my blog should clue you in that I actually do say and write bad words. 

Wow! You know what?  I feel better now. 

Thanks for reading, if you have anything you would like to bitch about feel free to comment. 

THINK B4 YOU SPEAK

How many kids do I have?

For the love of Sweet Potato Fries!!

Why do Dad's think it's funny to torment children?

Okay, maybe torment is a strong word... but hearing the screaming sounds is like torment to me.

I can't blame it all on Chris, my Dad used to do it too.

In my Dad's case..

Commercial just came on, time to tickle, chase or make us giggle uncontrollably.
He actually used to take his false teeth out and chase us with them. Yep, he was an old fart!

Oops.. commercial is over.

"Hush, you two! I can't hear my program."


Chris doesn't really care what's on T.V., If he gets a wild hair up his ass he's gonna share his energy with the little ones.  I love that Chris plays with the kids.  What gets my goose is that Emilie is 9 and do you know what it sounds like when a 9 year old girl screams?  I really believe the neighbors think she is getting murdered.  Really!

For some reason the kids hate when he acts like a robot.  So, he does it over and over.
"Ro-bot  co-ming to get An-drew.. beep, beep."  walking and turning his head like a freak-ass robot you really don't ever want to meet.

"No Daddy, Me not like da rowbot!"  Andrew cries as he making his way up my ass for safety.

All three of them go running down the hallway sounding like freaking bulls fighting each other and the walls.
We live in an apartment, an apartment that has thin walls, I can hear the neighbors I know sure as shit they can hear our drama seeping into their walls. I can see them now, holding on to their valuables so they don't topple over like they are experiencing an earthquake.

"Oh Fred, those youngins' are at it again!"

Thank God, we now have a boy he can rough-house with.  Andrew really can take it pretty well.

Chris used to try to wrestle with Emilie.
That didn't work out too well.

Emilie is one of those people who are even threatened with a tickle she laughs.. and if you do tickle her, her laughter soon will turn to tears and tears turn into rage. She gets up all red faced, drool hanging from her cheeks.
"DADDY, I DON'T LIKE TO BE TICKLED! AHHHHH!!!!"  She runs off to her room, but not before she let's out a scream that will make your eyelashes fall off and slams her door.

It ends the same way.
 "Good God! Can you all please shut the hell up!!"

Everyone scurries to their appropriate areas.

If I could only get them to rough-house, wrestle and play with out the blood curdling screams that come from the kids. And to make sure that freak of a robot impression never makes another appearance.

Thanks for reading.
xoxo

Would this be considered Fan Mail?

Welcome to Take Two of April’s Secret Subject Swap. 
This week, 11 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. 
Thank you to Karen at Baking in a Tornado for hosting!

This is my first time participating in the Secret Subject Swap and I have to admit I'm kind of nervous doing this. I hope I can live up to all the other amazing bloggers who are participating! 



My subject is: "Dear Kardashians." 
It was submitted by:  My Life as Lucille.  


Here it goes: 


Dear Kardashians,

I have to admit that I haven't watched very many of your shows. I know who everyone is and I think I've formed an opinion that I can share.

I would like to start with the step dad Bruce;  Yes, I am aware you are an Olympic winner.. blah, blah do you have to bring it up ever time you open your mouth?  Speaking of opening your mouth, how is that even possible anymore?  I don't mean to sound rude but, are you trying to look like Liza Minnelli?  Not the look a man should be going for. Just my opinion!

Kris, from what I've heard you actually like your man looking like that! Are you trying to turn him into a woman? If you're a lesbian, that's okay just come out already.  I know you've had work done too, and that's okay, but there is a point that you just have to stop. You are not 23 years old anymore and no amount of surgery can make you look like it.  It's kind of sick if you are trying to look like your daughters.  Be the Mom, a grown ass woman, not a wanna be.

Hey Scott, why don't you stay home every once and a while and play with the kids you helped make?  Speaking of being a man, what the hell do you even do for a living? Mooch off your the family?  All I ever see you do is party and whine that Kourtney is a bitch. 

I do agree with Scott somewhat though, Kourtney does come off as quite bitchy!  
You and your sisters are supposed to be running a business right?  Well, why do they do all the work while you sit home with your kid on your teet? Boo-hoo Scott doesn't pay enough attention to me (sniff, sniff) well do something about it dammit!  You are more than a mother you know!
I'm a mother as well, but I have other things I like to do besides staying home with them all the time. Go do something with your spouse, maybe he will pay more attention to you. 

Khloe', I've only seen you on the Miami show this year, but what I've seen is hilarious!  I like that you tell it like it is.  The show where you were addicted to that coffee and you took the scooter out in the middle of the night was very entertaining!  I haven't watched your show with you and your husband, it just looks kind of boring. But, who knows, maybe I will check it out one day if I have nothing better to do. 

Rob, oh dear God would you please quit whining so much! 
My kids whine less than you!
A little piece of advice; grow some damn balls already!  Do you seriously have to cry about everything?  Stop bugging your sisters for money and just go get a damn job! We are so very sorry you weren't born with tits and a big ass like your sisters, work with what you have! 
Also, you are not going to find a respectable woman with the party girls you're always hang out with!  Maybe, here's an idea.. instead of blubbering about your weight, go to the gym and find a woman there!

I've saved my favorite for last. 

Kim, I think you are too freaking funny.  Your a duh kind of funny!  You know what I mean? No? That's okay.  Same as Khloe' I've only seen you on the Miami show.  I won't bring up the sex tape thing.. oops.. doesn't matter I haven't seen it nor do I want to.
I really didn't follow you when you were married for like 3 days or something like that. Of course it was all over the news.  I didn't pay much attention to it though, I don't really give a bull-spit about it. 

So, I hear you are pregnant now.  Wow, congrats! 
Hope you carry in the front if you know what I mean? No? That's okay sweetie, it will all even out.


Hope this letter finds you all well, 

Love,
Fan #2,341,451
Oh shit who am I kidding, I'm not really a fan! 

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  

Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking in a Tornado

Peanut Layne

Menopausal Mother

Sadder But Wiser Girl

Evil Joy Speaks

The Black Sheep Mom

Home on Deranged

Victoria Rose Vintage

Dates 2 Diapers

My Life as Lucille

Thanks for reading,
xoxo