Sunday, July 7, 2013

Freaky Fetish

A friend told me about this, and a friend told her.  It's these postings on Craigslist, that are way beyond selling a bed or grandpa's old rock collection.    These are real postings from real people who have what I would call odd sexual requests and fetishes.  Who am I to say that these are odd?  Obviously, I'm a bit vanilla or have been living under a boulder.

Initially, I wanted to copy and paste the actual postings on my blog.  After some research I think it's not allowed and damn if I want to be sued by that website.  So what I'm going to do is, in my own words list fetishes I never knew existed and shit I would never do.

1.   When Chris gets home from work I have absolutely no desire to take off his work boots and sniff and suck on his sweaty stinky toes!

2.  I'm not sure why watching someone pissing and shitting themselves is a turn-on. But this lady is "dying" to host a party!

3.  The word smother scares the shit out of me.  Even when being tickled too much I lose my breath and feel like I might die. So, the thought of someone smothering me with their toes, feet and sitting on my face, I can tell you I will freak the fuck out!

4.  A guy who says his fetish is watching someone clean his house and do is laundry with no nudity or sex.
  I call bullshit! That's not a fetish that's a lazy asshole!

5.  I almost projectile vomited when I read that a man is looking for a woman, any women married or single to visit him during her menstrual cycle.  He will not have intercourse only give her oral!

6.  When you think of playing a video game do you also think of getting "slammed" from behind?  Um, me either!  This guys is looking for a woman who will play Super Mario Brothers and who can also fake an orgasm while he's busy from behind.  He is very specific about what will happen at the end of each level!  WTF!!

7.  What does it mean if a man only wants foreplay and insists that there will be no sex?  Is he really a man? Is he so big he hasn't seen his winky dink in years?  Ugh. I'm grossing myself out!

8.  I thought men did their personal deed alone.  I guess I'm wrong though.  I'm seeing many, many ad's who want to be watched while do this to themselves.  They don't want the other person to touch them or even talk just to watch.

9.  I would call this abuse.  Apparently some people consider this a foot fetish.  A man looking for a person who will kick and trample on him with bare feet.  Oh and he also mentioned that he can be used as a toilet!

10.  I believe this gentleman has Mommy issues!  He's looking for an older woman (didn't specify age) who will bath, breastfeed and tuck him in.

I'm a pretty open minded person.  Although, a few of them grossed me out but I was really shocked to read some of these.  The one's listed above are no where near all of them posted. There are hundreds of them.
I know we've all heard of a golden shower, that one is mild compared to what some people are doing now-a-days.

I read these to Chris and thank god, he thought they were all weird!  Well except for #4!

Thanks for reading and I hope you got a good laugh out of this.


  1. Sweet mother of gawd!! Really?? I'm dying laughing here!! Awesome. Scary. Weird. And now I must find more!!!

  2. WOW... unbelievable to say the list... I swear people come up with the most outlandish things ever... I guess I am vanilla too :)

  3. Used to be this sort of stuff was kept secret. Secret's out I guess. There should be some sort of rule about posting for sexual favors. I guess I'm far north of vanilla I'm alabaster. Good post Ellen, I'm in shock.

  4. That is crazy... To see those people post those things!

  5. #3...."and sitting on my face"

    Old joke: You know how you can tell if your girlfriend is overweight? When she sits on your face and you can't hear the radio. ;)

  6. Prude!!

    Damn, did I just give away my age with that word?

  7. WOW.....................

    Gross too. I love the fact that the guy thinks that's something where he can sit on his ass all day and not do shit. I know several people like that.

    I just read a book with a guy in it who would bath the chick and put lotion on her and even shave her legs. said his mom did it to him. talk about weird.

    1. I just read a book where a woman liked to bath another woman and tuck her into bed. Come to find out the first lady was a hermaphrodite. LOL.

  8. there are creepy freaks out just never know what someone does behind closed doors....

  9. Uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm...I have no words. None. :D

    And #4 is just every husband in the world. ;)

  10. Ewww. That's why I NEVER go on Craigslist!

  11. Takes all kinds, right? Funny! -- Norine of Science of Parenthood

  12. Blahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! This made me squeamish and giggly all in one post!! But mostly EWWWWWWWWWWW!

  13. as a therapist I hear a lot of this sort of stuff pretty frequently and in my office I can usually tolerate hearing it no sweat but for some reason this grossed me out.... well except #4 which I think would be great if I could convince someone it was a real fetish.

  14. Wow, sounds like you tripped and fell into the cesspool of Craigslist. And I totally agree with your assessment of #4!!!

    Thank you for linking up with the Humor Me! Blog Hop!!! :)

  15. OMG this was all kinds of disturbing!! #4 probably had an ad under housekeeper wanted and got no takers. #5 made me throw up in my mouth a little and #6? WTF???

    I may have been your roommate under that boulder!!


Lay it on me!