Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Important skills my children teach each other

When you have kids you know that they will teach each other things.  When dreamed about having kids I thought they would teach each other how to play, share and just have a good life together.
Well, I guess Im an idiot for dreaming or thinking like a shit hole. 
My daughter is 5 and a half years older than my son, she really plays really good with him, most of the time.
Although, she has taught him one important task that she deems a very valuable life skill.
Since Andrew has been about 3 years old hes a pro at any iPhone app there is.
Oh no, she doesnt teach him learning games, he MUST learn how to play Minion Rush, Wheres Perry or some version of that game.  And, virtual makeover and 50 different ways to make corn dogs and cotton candy. 
Even though she's the oldest, he teaches her so many things too!
He goes beyond technology, he schools her on a couple things about anatomy.
Recently she learned that when Andrew does naked jumping jacks his weenie is able to bounce around too.  I personally find this next one fascinating, although she doesn't agree, but it amazing he's able to pee while scratching his ass with both hands. 
The main thing she has learned that I guess would fall under anatomy would be that we actually do have a butt hole.  She assumed this knowledge after Andrew's naked jumping jack session.  I guess when he's done with that he likes to finish off with him pointing his butt toward his sister, bend over and spreads them wide!!
When she saw that she looked at me terrified while of course I laughed.
Emilie:  Mommy, did you just see that?
Me:  Yeah, funny huh?
Emilie:  He has a hole down there!
Me:  Um, yes Im aware of that.  Its called a butthole.  Every one has one.
Emilie:  (stares at me like I just told her she was adopted)  Really?  I thought we just had a crack. But there is an actual hole there!!!
Me:  (My turn to stare at her with no comment)
Andrew:  Yes Sissy, see butt hole!  (bends over again)
After I got Andrew dressed I went into Emile's room and broke the news to her that she has a special hole just for peeing.  I didn't tell her about the other hole.. hope she doesn't find it on her own, she will really freak the hell out!!
The last lesson that they have taught each other is the most important farting.
No, they didnt teach each other how to fart, that comes naturally.
Emilie taught Andrew how to fart and walk the same time.  He mastered that in no time, and then he uped the ante...
Now they both know how to run and fart.  Andrew insists he sounds like a "big, shiny racing boat."  Emilie disagrees and says that he sounds like a pontoon boat. 
Either way, I guess I should be proud that they play well together and have a good farting time doing it!
Thanks for reading


  1. I marked my reaction as "disturbed" because that was highly disturbing! LMAO!

  2. so funny! I can't remember when I found out about the butt hole but I can imagine my reaction was similar to your daughter -- like "what?huh? mind blown!"

  3. And here I thought only Moms of boys get to deal with butt and fart humor. :D

  4. Hilarious Ellen. Those two are complete opposites, so good for each other.

  5. Hahaha! :)
    Kinda like my littlest spawn and her "front butt"... which is not what you think... or, maybe it is.

  6. It is always interesting seeing how two children who were raised the same, still are so very different... I have two that are not alike either :)


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