How many kids do I have?

For the love of Sweet Potato Fries!!

Why do Dad's think it's funny to torment children?

Okay, maybe torment is a strong word... but hearing the screaming sounds is like torment to me.

I can't blame it all on Chris, my Dad used to do it too.

In my Dad's case..

Commercial just came on, time to tickle, chase or make us giggle uncontrollably.
He actually used to take his false teeth out and chase us with them. Yep, he was an old fart!

Oops.. commercial is over.

"Hush, you two! I can't hear my program."


Chris doesn't really care what's on T.V., If he gets a wild hair up his ass he's gonna share his energy with the little ones.  I love that Chris plays with the kids.  What gets my goose is that Emilie is 9 and do you know what it sounds like when a 9 year old girl screams?  I really believe the neighbors think she is getting murdered.  Really!

For some reason the kids hate when he acts like a robot.  So, he does it over and over.
"Ro-bot  co-ming to get An-drew.. beep, beep."  walking and turning his head like a freak-ass robot you really don't ever want to meet.

"No Daddy, Me not like da rowbot!"  Andrew cries as he making his way up my ass for safety.

All three of them go running down the hallway sounding like freaking bulls fighting each other and the walls.
We live in an apartment, an apartment that has thin walls, I can hear the neighbors I know sure as shit they can hear our drama seeping into their walls. I can see them now, holding on to their valuables so they don't topple over like they are experiencing an earthquake.

"Oh Fred, those youngins' are at it again!"

Thank God, we now have a boy he can rough-house with.  Andrew really can take it pretty well.

Chris used to try to wrestle with Emilie.
That didn't work out too well.

Emilie is one of those people who are even threatened with a tickle she laughs.. and if you do tickle her, her laughter soon will turn to tears and tears turn into rage. She gets up all red faced, drool hanging from her cheeks.
"DADDY, I DON'T LIKE TO BE TICKLED! AHHHHH!!!!"  She runs off to her room, but not before she let's out a scream that will make your eyelashes fall off and slams her door.

It ends the same way.
 "Good God! Can you all please shut the hell up!!"

Everyone scurries to their appropriate areas.

If I could only get them to rough-house, wrestle and play with out the blood curdling screams that come from the kids. And to make sure that freak of a robot impression never makes another appearance.

Thanks for reading.
xoxo