Tuesday, May 15, 2012
I have been thinking a lot lately what my life was like before I had children.
More than just my life, who I was and who I’ve become since.
Before I had children I thought of only myself, I wasn’t completely selfish I have always cared of others feelings. I was very impatient, hot headed, insecure, It was hard for me not hold a grudge against someone who hurt me. Lack of imagination and curiosity.
So since I’ve had children, I’ve learned so many things about myself. And both of my children have taught me something different.
My 8 year old daughter reminded me what it felt like to be a little girl again.
She taught me how to use my imagination, she brought out the little girl giggle that I haven’t heard in years. I learned that I can sit on the floor and play Barbie’s for an extended period of time. Through her eyes I see more than just the “weeds” I see flowers, everywhere I look I spot a flower. How to brush her hair with minimal shrieking. I enjoy chasing a butterflies, and fire flies. When the sunsets on the day I see the most beautiful colors, I see the excitement in her eyes while she gazes into the sky and wonders why it looks so pretty. I feel a love between a mother and daughter when I give her a good night kiss.
My almost 3 year old son is teaching me what it’s like to be a boy. He taught me that bugs are fascinating creatures not as disgusting as I thought. Except for cock roaches, I will always hurt myself or someone else to escape from one of those suckers. I learned that some kids like to cuddle and others not so much. He’s a cuddler and I never thought of myself as a cuddler. Come to find out I really do enjoy it. He taught me that boys can be just as sensitive as girls. I now know how to hunt bears in the backyard and how to cast a fishing pole. I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter what age a boy or man is they always have their hand down their pants.
From both of them, I learned how to love uncondionally, that my heart is big enough for both of them. I’ve learned how different every child is. And just how beautiful and innocent they are when they sleep.
at 8:47 PM