Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Nervous Mama!!

Wednesday, August 14th 2013 is the first day of school in our county.

Normally, I only have one child to get ready for that dreaded day.  Dreaded for her not me!

This year I had two of them to buy for and to get back onto a sleep schedule.

Emilie has been going to school (daycare) since she was 3 months old.  She should be used to it right?
Well, I thought so too.  But, nope, shit can not go easy for me ever!

Ever since Emilie started Kindergarten she cries on the first day of school  Well, this year she is in the 4th grade and she started freaking out the night before.  She seriously was worried a number of things:

  • What if the teacher doesn't let me play on the playground cause I have sandals on?
  • What if I don't know anyone in class?
  • What if I forget my teacher's name?
  • Mommy! Can you please home school me?
The only thing that I dread about the first day of school, is watching and listening to Emilie freak out and cry. 
I understand she is shy and anxious about things, I'm the same way.  But, there has to come a point when the other kids will make fun of her for crying so much.  I don't want that to happen! 
Anything I say to her doesn't ease her anxieties about first day of school.  

Even, though I worry about her I had bigger fish to fry about the first day.  
My 4 year old Andrew is starting VPK (Voluntary Pre Kindergarten).  It's a 3 hour program at any daycare I choose and it's FREE!!   My alarm woke me up at the ass crack of dawn (6am) to start the day.  As soon as my head lifted off the pillow I started getting the nervous belly.  I was nervous mostly for Andrew, he has NEVER been to a daycare, or even been watched by anyone but me or his Dad.  
I can see why Emilie worries about stupid shit, because I found myself having a panic attack because what if Andrew had to go to the bathroom at school and was too shy to ask where it was and peed his pants?  
What if he couldn't get his pants back up and had to walk out of the bathroom with his willy hanging out? 
I know stupid shit to worry about.  
The only thing that helped was that he was so damn excited to go!

Emilie had to be at school earlier than Andrew, so off to her school first. 
We get out of the car and she grabs onto my left hand with both her hands like she's on some crazy ass roller coaster.  She had tears running down her face and she looks like a damn mess.  I try to talk to her calmly, but it didn't help.  We get to her classroom and she is the first one, which she demanded she wanted to be.  
We walk in and find her desk and thank God she is sitting right next to her best friend from last year.  I looked over at Emilie because I know she saw her friends name.  She had the biggest smile on her face.  She sat right down and gave me a hug good-bye!

Okay, now time to bring Andrew to school.  I still felt like I had to run to the bathroom, but I knew I could push through and be the strong mama.

We walk into his classroom and he runs right for the toys.  I give all his crap to his teacher and she informs me that he can just take a seat and they will be splitting up into groups in a few minutes. 
Andrew was not happy, that he couldn't play with the toys but, he sat down like a big boy.  
"Can I have a hug buddy?"  I asked.
He gave me a half hug and smiled at me like I was embarrassing him.  He already told me that I was not allowed to kiss him good bye in his classroom.  So, I didn't even try. 

I walk around to the other side of the table filled with a shit load of kids you couldn't pay me enough to spend 3 hours with.  
"Okay, Mommy is leaving I will see you in a little bit."
"Bye, Mommy."  he waved to me. 
I walked toward the door which was behind him, and not once did he look back at me.  

Okay, I did it!  I think as I walk back to my car and realize I didn't have my cell phone with me. 
Holy shit balls what if something happens and they call me, I haul ass back home and check and nope no one called.  So, I sat there for 3 hours watching the clock waiting to go pick him up. 

It was finally time to go pick up Andrew from school and I get there a few minutes early.  I was able to sneak in the classroom with out him noticing me.  They were all sitting down listening to their teacher read them a book.  I pull out my phone and decide to take a few pictures of him.

I already knew he wasn't anything like his shy sister but, this proved it. 
With his little hand raised, "Hey, Hey, Teacher when are we going to play on the playground?"
I giggled to myself.  

He finally noticed me and stalked over with a big frown on his face.
"Why are you here Mommy?  I didn't play on the playground yet!"
Come to find out they had a birthday party for a little girl and missed they outside play because they had cup cakes instead. 

Emilie is still at school right now, but I know she had a good day.  She always does. 

The moral of this story is that, I knew it was going to be hard as hell for me to say good-bye to my little man for his first day of pre-school, but I did it.  

Oh and he did great too...

Thanks for reading,


  1. Excellent but then I am prejudice, I think back to those days you will have the written word to remind you of those special things...

  2. This was great Ellen, my oldest was the one with anxiety and my youngest was the one that waved good bye... maybe it is just those second children... either way they both did great :)

    1. Launna, is your oldest still an anxious person? How long did it take him/her to grow out of it? I really worry about her sometimes!!

  3. You think the kids get together the night before and ask each other, "How do you think mom's gonna do tomorrow? I'm worriied about her." Haha!


  4. I always felt the way Emilie does, about school, when I was a kid. When you can't picture in your head what something is going to be like, it can be extra scary! But getting into the classroom was probably the hardest part, because once she was with the classmates she knew from last year, it probably felt more familiar. That Free Voluntary PReschool sounds like a good deal!

  5. Ellen, you didn't cry when you left Andrew? I cried on the first day of school every year. Even when they were in High School. For me it just meant they were another year older and growing up way too fast.
    So proud of both of them. Glad they both had good days.

  6. So glad the kids love school. Now how does Mama like her new freedom? I just put up my tag post today that you and Sarah tagged me in if you want to check it out!


Lay it on me!