Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Tales from the Trailer Park Chapter 4: Trailer Park Psychic
Welcome to Chapter 4 of Tales from the Trailer Park.
If you haven't read the first three chapters, you can find them here.
When I was in elementary school, one time I was bus monitor.
Hell yah! I got wear that cool ass orange belt thingy and I think that sucker even had a pin on telling people to listen to me! I believe I was in the 5th grade when I was honored with this awesome ability to yell at the shit heads on the bus I didn't’ like.
On our route to school we traveled mostly back roads, well because that’s all there really was. At one point we would come to the end of a street and we could either go left or right. Straight ahead was a small white wooden house, I don’t’ remember if anyone lived there or not. It’s really not important.
I got up for school one morning and got ready, admiring my nifty belt I got to wear on our travels to school.
Okay, I’m on the bus and we were stopped at one of the bus stops, I was allowed to stand while we were stopped to help the little ones get on and get to their seats. I was feeling out of sorts that day and I couldn't figure out why. I felt like I needed to remember something, but for the life of me I couldn't remember.
I was distracted by all the damn noise on the bus, they just weren't listening to me. I sat down knowing defeat when I see it and I began thinking about why I felt so buggy that day.
Then all of a sudden like I was zapped by lighting, I had a dream the night before that the little white wooden house was burning. I remembered seeing flames and it felt hot. I looked out the front window because I hadn't paid attention where we were on our route and I realized that we hadn't gotten to that house yet.
I felt my stomach doing flips inside me, I was freaking nervous to see that house. What if it was burned to the ground? What would that mean? Did that mean that I’m a freak? Can I tell the future? Would I get to be bus monitor again? Damn what a gift this could be.
My face turned white and I stood up in the aisle of the bus, because I saw it, the house had indeed burned down. I remember the damn bus driver yelled at me for standing while she was moving. I wanted to remind her that I was wearing my belt and to mind her manners.
I swear to Jesus who visited me while I was swimming, the house was standing proud yesterday!
How come I can’t remember how to divide without a calculator but I can remember shit from the 5th grade?
There was one other psychic incident while I was young, my Aunt who also lived on our street had died and I knew she died before anyone told me. Finally while hanging upside down in a tree at my brother's house my dad came up to the tree and looked at my upside down face.
"Ellen, Aunt Alice died." he said
"I know dad." I replied.
Well, that's all the stories I have about my psychic abilitiy and I promise no more stories about feminine products. Although, coming up will be a story about when I got the privilege to watch my first boyfriend shit out of a tree!
Thanks for reading,