Saturday, April 28, 2012
I'm a big believer that dreams are messages or communication from the "other side" or even something about yourself deep down that you didn't know or realize.
The latter of the explanations I think are true to this re-occurring dream I have from time to time.
It's based in a huge mansion.. there are nothing but bedrooms everywhere. Every bedroom has a bed and is equipped for a guest at any time. I'm never alone in the house, there are people visible some talk to me some don't I seem to know these people but not in this world.
The house is so damn huge I end up having to walk someone around and show them how to get from one room to another. There is at least 2 floors to this house. The stairway to the second floor is a grand staircase, it's wide enough for 4 people to walk up together standing next to each other, and it seems to curve to the right once you get onto the landing. When I get to the landing there isn't a left, well if there is, I've never looked in that direction. I notice that there are boxes stacked on the landing one after another. But it doesn't feel cluttered to me. The landing curves to the right and its like a huge hallway. I know there are rooms on the second floor, but I've never visited them. This is the part of the dream that takes an odd turn.
I always walk up the stairway and get to the landing, but I NEVER go any further than that. I feel there is something evil up there. I so badly want to see what's up there, but I can never get myself any further than the boxes.
The last time I had this dream was about a month and a 1/2 ago. I think about it all the time and I want to go back in the dream and make myself walk past the boxes. When I lay down at night I think about that mansion hoping that I will dream about it again.
Last night while trying to drown out Chris' snoring, I was thinking about why I'm not able to get back into that dream. And I think maybe I figured it out.. well maybe. I do take an anti anxiety pill everyday, but when I found out I was pregnant with our 3rd baby in January, I stopped taking the pill.
And I believe that's when I was having that specific dream. I've since lost that pregnancy to miscarriage and I've started taking my "crazy pill" again. And now I'm not having the dream.
I wonder if the dream or the evil room upstairs has anything to do with my feelings or attitude when I wasn't taking the pill. I can't remember for the life of me, if I had the dream before I stopped taking the pill.
I'm afraid that maybe I'm the Evil force upstairs.
at 6:15 PM