One Hundred & One Year

Today I am celebrating my 100th blog post here at Bad Word Mama. I've thought long and hard (yep, I snickered when I wrote that) about what the hell would I write about and I decided to give you 100 facts about myself.  I have always been an open book to anyone, although I don't like to talk about myself.  If anyone asks me a question I will tell them and I will tell the truth no matter how embarrassing the question may be.  I've given a lot of facts about myself on this blog thanks to all the awards I've won. You may see some of those facts here because truthfully I'm too damn lazy to go look back at those posts to see what I've written already. The facts will not be in order so I hope don't get too dizzy. I hope I can come up with 100 facts about myself with out boring you to death. Some may be consider T.M.I,  sorry in advance. 

1. My full name is Ellen Honor Fischkelta,  Honor was my Mom's first name. Honor is also my daughters middle name. 
2. Did I mention that I hate my name, it's an old ladies name. 
3. I am going to be 39 years old in May. (son-a-va-bitch)
4. I am a true Gemini, I'm freaking fickle and I really do have a spit personality.  I haven't been diagnosed with one, but people who know me would definitely agree with me.  
5. I think Adam Sandler is sexy.  Not in a physical way, I love his sense of humor I think it's really sexy.  
6. When I was a young I used to put maxi pads on the bottom of my bare feet and climb trees. 
7. I sound like an elephant when I sneeze.
8. I laugh very, very hard when someone falls down.
9. I have a soft spot in my heart for old people.
10. My daughter has an attitude just like me!
11. I can watch Duck Dynasty everyday all day
12. I hate my fucking computer, the computer screen goes white like every 30 seconds. (Damn you asshole Dell)
13. I watched both my parents die.
14. I almost died while having my daughter.
15. I'm addicted to Dr. Pepper.. or Dr. Thunder when I'm broke.
16. Most days I don't get out of my pajamas.
17. Before Chris and I started dating I was in a relationship for 10 years with another guy.
18. I hated high school and used to skip school at least twice a week.
19. I firmly believe men and women can not be friends. Unless one or both are gay. 
20. I believe in God, but I don't go to church.
21. Politics confuse the shit out of me.
22. My favorite verb is Fuck.
23. I can't wait to go through menopause.
24. I had a miscarriage last year. 
25. I have a big problem telling people no! Unless it's Chris asking for sex.
26. I care what people think too much. 
27. I read 2 to 3 books a week.
28. My best friend took her own life in 2001.
29. I hate to cook
30. I love to clean
31. I have to go to a laundry mat to do laundry.
32. We live in a 2 bedroom apartment that is way too fucking small.
33. I smoke too much.
34. I used to smoke pot when I was in high school.
35. Don't ever use scissiors when trimming your lady garden. (TRUST ME)
36. I can't sleep when my leg hairs get too long and rubs up against the sheets.
37. My first job was at Burger King and I worked there for 4 years.
38. I was in a car accident in 1995, ended up with a 4 inch scar down the side of my face. People always think it's a pillow mark, like I just woke up. 
39. My sister and I didn't get along until after our Dad died.
40. My favorite adjective is Fuck.
41. I do tons of favors for everyone, but I don't ask favors of anyone else.
42. I hate to drive on the interstate.
43. I don't get enough sleep at night because I read too long.
44. I'm having a really hard time with this list.
45. I used to have a boss who hated me and tried to get me to quit and I told him to fuck off!  He ended up quiting soon after. HA! Suck it ass-licker!
46. One of my favorite sayings is: "Suck it up."
47. I hate the word Pussy. It has too many "S's" in it, sounds too juicy.
48. You can call me anything but a "fucking bitch."
49. I hate when people roll their eyes too much. 
50. Thanks to this blog, I've found the real Ellen and let her come out and play.
51. I choose my battles when it comes to people and their opinions.
52. I have horrible genes, I'm gonna be a wrinkled mess in 10 years.
53. I really, really want to win the lottery!!
54. When I hear that someone is having money problems, I want to help them so much, but then I remember I'm having money problems too.
55. I'm writing 2 books at the same time.
56. I can't stand when people can't laugh at themselves.
57. I want arms like Kelly Ripa.
58. I have OCD when it comes to the doors being locked. 
59. Holy shit this is taking forever!
60. Chris and I don't sleep in the same room because he snores way too much. I feel bad about it too. Until, it's bed time. 
61. My favorite number is 5. 
62. I love exploring new areas.
63. I love scary movies, but I watch them through my fingers.
64. I believe in ghosts.
65. I don't believe when someone commits suicide that they go to Hell. I believe that have to come back and face the same trial and tribulations in the next life.
66. I love the show Long Island Medium.
67. I've had my dead parents and best friend visit me in dreams to let me know that they are okay.
68. I want to be a famous writer.
69. Not a fan of this number. Ha-Ha!
70. I would love for my blog to go viral. Not sure what that means, but if I can get paid for it. Sign me up!
71. I used to be on anxiety meds and quit when I was pregnant with our 3rd baby before I had a miscarriage.  I really need to go back on them.
72. I feel like I live in a little bubble and I love it.
73. I have a strict schedule for my kids and I hate it when it gets screwed up.
74. I would dump Chris for Tatum Channing or Matthew McConaughey.
75. I just had to Google Matthew's last name because I can never remember how to spell it. 
76. I HATE fake people! And I can see right through their little facade.
77. Uncle Si on Duck Dynasty is my favorite. "Jack!"
78. I used to read inspirational quotes, but then I realized that they don't inspire me.  Funny shit inspires me. 
79. I have a horrible time finding sunglasses. My face is too skinny and my nose is too big. 
80. I spend way too much time thinking about my writing projects and not enough time writing them. 
81. I'm really starting to think I live the fucking 'hood!  (I have another blog post about that coming up.)
82. I hate liars.
83. I don't get along well with mothers who think their kids do no wrong! I say BULLSHIT!! I just saw that little sucker eat a fucking booger!
84. I like to tell people I say what's on my mind. But, that's not the whole truth, I bite my tongue a lot!
85. I love Tosh.O!  I think he is hilarious! I love everything that comes out of his mouth. How is it okay for him to say all the shit he says but god for bid a blogger does!! SCREW YOU T.V.  stars!!
86. I have more blogger friends than real ones. 
87. I hate being late for an anything! 
88. I'm not a fan of Adam Levine's talking voice, but I love his singing voice. 
89. There is never a time or place to act serious! I like to joke and have fun all the time. 
90. I can read something heartfelt and turn it around to something foul or sexual. I think that can be considered a talent?
91. Coffee makes me poop.
92. Kids annoy the shit out of me. Yes, including my own!
93. I know the secret on how to understand a man! A) Shut the fuck up. B) What a women says is what a man hears, nothing else! C) They like naked women. 
94. My feelings don't get hurt easily. Which I find weird, because I care what people think. Maybe that's the Gemini in me. 
95. Thanks to my daughter, I'm learning 3rd grade multiplication all over again. 
96. When I get really pissed off I punch things and like to break other people's shit. 
97. When I read a book or watch a movie, I don't critique it. I dive right into the story and enjoy every bit. 
98. I'm not a fan of sweet stuff. Unless, it's donuts! YUM. 
99. There is one blogger friend I've met since I started blogging who has been my biggest cheerleader who likes me for who I am. Inspite of all the bad words I say. (you know who you are)
100. I never take anything for granted. I've learned to live without a lot of things I thought I could NEVER live without.

Not only is this my 100th blog post. I'm also celebrating my 1 year anniversary of starting this blog.  I started it on April 27, 2012!

I hope I didn't bore you too much.  I don't blame you if you just skimmed this list. I probably would have done the same thing. It took me like 3 fucking days to complete this post!  I was bored after fact #23. 

Thank you from the bottom of my bitchy-frozen-ass heart for supporting me and reading my blog.

xoxo