Sunday, March 10, 2013

What happens after the “Happily Ever After.”

The movie is over, the couple walks away in the sunset hand in hand.
You put down the crumpled up wet tissues that you were using to wipe away the happy tears.  You walk away feeling good, love is grand!

We've all watched these movies, read those books. I know I have.
But, have you ever thought of what happens after the Happily Ever After?

I can tell you what happens after…

All the bullshit is out of the way.  All of their secrets are out of the closet.
The sexy, beautiful people will now act like a normal couple.  No more longing into each other’s eyes for hours.  They still have sex, but not like they used.  They undress themselves quickly.  The man’s chiseled chest has now become man boobs.  His six pack abs are long gone and his belly button is so deep, you could keep your laundry money in there.  The woman’s sexy undergarments are now granny panties that don’t match her bra.  Hand holding? Ha! Only time he grabs her hand is to pull her out the way of an oncoming car. (if he see’s it in time)
Dancing the night away as been replaced by the man running to the store for the woman’s late night craving.  The man witness the miracle of birth.  It’s a miracle if the man can look at the woman’s hooha with out cringing from the memory of how big that sucker got pushing out a human.

Yes, she said she loved it and she did it all the time (before the happily ever after).  Truthfully, she really doesn’t like to kiss someone where they pee.
Misleading? Yep! Well, so is I don’t like watching football.  HA!  As he screams at the T.V to players who can not hear him, he’s not helping the team win.

Kissing was like a sport, you did it all the time like you are training for the Olympics.
 It was sweet and sensual and make your toes curl.
After the movie is over, it’s hard puckered lips while running in different directions.

Hot sexual showers together are now,  maybe the woman will get one every other day just to clean off the dried puke made from the beautiful creature who was bulldozed out of her crotch that now stays dormant.

Basically, this is what happens after the movie ends and the book comes to a close.  Every story is different of course.  Do you think that the writers come up with these stories from their real life? Hell no, it’s their imagination!  It’s entertainment, real life, real relationships are not like one’s in books and or movies.  They may start off all hot and heavy but they can never endure that kind of romance with out life getting in the way.  There is always someone’s dirty underwear to be washed, dinner to be cooked, bills to be paid.

So, that’s what I like to do when I finish reading that amazing love story, I imagine those characters in real life and what happens after their “Happily Ever After.”

Thanks for reading,


  1. You really did not need that last paragraph, we get it!

    However, My wife and I have been married now for...hello....wait, don't go...really...damn!

  2. I think anytime you've been with someone for a while things change. Even if you don't live together. Still there's a comfort in the familiar and the shared memories that you don't have when it's new and exciting.

  3. I love this post because it's SO true!!!

    1. Thank you, I'm glad you like it. I like trying to find humor in our everyday lives, one way or another. Thanks for reading xoxo

  4. Ha! You paint some great visuals. A lot....OK, most of what you say here is true. A little thing called "life" rears its ugly head and makes us look at/do things we really don't want to. I don't think we necessarily WANT to slide like that, but it's just impossible to keep up that demanding pace. Lets face it, a person only has so many pairs of underwear. You have to wash sometime! ;)


  5. I don't do happily ever after but I deal with fact and life is quite simply not a bed of roses. The best I can hope for is '....and they all had a satisfactory existence afterwards'

  6. That was so funny. We call them "moobs" here and laundry money? Bahahahaha!!! I'll never watch the end of a romantic, happily ever after movie the same way again!!

    Penny at Green Moms

  7. haha! This post is the best!

    New follower from the GFC blog hop! Hope you follow back!

    Life Revolves Around Them

  8. It's so true...goodness gracious, can't we all just live in the movie? Two hour stretches of perfection? That's not too much to ask he still chewing with his mouth open? ;) xoxoxo

    1. LMAO!!! YES he is.. he seems to think it's funny when I throw forks at his head and yell.

  9. It's all in the expectations. Something as seeminly small as a toilet that flushes brings joy to my heart.


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