Friday, March 22, 2013

Hey kid! Do you ever stop talking?

I've compiled a small list of the shit my 3 year old son says damn near on a daily basis.

I'm not the normal kind of girl who likes to talk very much.  I have so many things going on in my head at all times that there isn't much to say out loud.

My son is a different though, he says everything and anything that is on his mind.

When Andrew talks to me he expects an answer.  A normal grunt from Mommy will not suffice it either.

I think he gets that shit from his father.  He talks more than any man I've ever met.

Andrew will also keep repeating himself over and over until I've acknowledged that he's made a statement or asked me a question that seriously I have to stop and think if he really just said that!

1.  My balls are wet Mama
     Um, Okay that's weird!

2.  Does Spiderman get wedgies?
     I have no freaking idea!

3.  Smell my hand
     What the shit Andrew, I'm not smelling your hand!

4.  I gonna punch Dora in the face
     Whoops not supposed to laugh at that. We don't say punch Andrew!

5.  Trust me.. just trust me
      Yeah, I've heard that one before.

6.  I like when you dance mama, you look like chicken. 
     Great, nice to know. Thanks!

7.  Does my hair look like noodles?
     What? No your hair does not look like noodles!

8.  Daddy can I use your lipstick?
     It's not lipstick Andrew. It's Chap-Stick - Daddy

9.  Why does my butt hole itch?
     Eww! I don't know.. Is that why you asked me to smell your hand?

10. I gonna punch Mickey Mouse.
      HeHe! Oops. Not nice Andrew.

11. Sorry Mama, I peed on the shower curtain
      Again!?! Really!! What the hell!!

12. When I get big can I say bad words?
       No, you may not!

13. You freakin' me out!
      Where the hell did you hear that?

14. Today is the perfect day to kill ants.
       Great! Is also a perfect day for a nap!

15. Look Mama, my weenie is big.
      Dammit Andrew, keep your hands out of your pants!

16. I gonna punch Blues Clues!
      Yeah, me too!

17.  Mama, Sissy breaf is stinky!
        Well, then don't smell it.

18.  Is Daddy's weenie big like mine?
       HeHe... Yep sure is!

What I find fucking hilarious is that Andrew asks me all of these questions and more during the day.  Sometimes, Andrew will ask Chris a random question just like above. Chris will automatically look at me like;  Are you kidding me? Is he really asking me this?
Yep, he sure is..answer your son!

Thanks for reading.


Weekend Funnies


  1. OMG! What a handful., I'm not talking about him with his hand in his pants. I mean....Oh hell. Nevermind. ;)


  2. Very funny!

    Oh, if his butt hole is itchy he needs to learn a little wet wipe cleaning or it will always itch and his undies will have a short lifespan.

  3. I've had the pleasure of hearing the itchy butthole complaint too. I always told them to start wiping better.

  4. Ellen! Very funny.. I almost fell out of my chair reading Andrew's questions :) I feel for you because you have to answer his questions, but I also understand that your son is very smart.. God Bless :)

  5. ooooh If the Prince ever asks number 18... I wanna say nope just for grins and giggles!!! bahahaha This was great! thank you for the laughs!

    Queen Mommy

  6. Trust me - there's more to come.

  7. Ha ha, with all the punching and weenie talk, he is definitely a boy!! It's crazy how it's hard wired into them, isn't it?

  8. LOL! Too funny. My son and husband talk non-stop, too. When my son was about four years old we were out doing errands together and he asked one question after another the whole time we were out. The only one I really remember was "Mommy, how do squirrels decide which tree to live in?" I've never conversed with a squirrel to ask them about their decision making process in choosing a tree for a home so I had to tell him I didn't know.

  9. In our relationship, I don't think I have to respond with anything more than a simple grunt to acknowledge you said something, while my wife will carry on the conversation for both of us... and anyone else in the room ("neighborhood" would be more accurate). I hope the kids take after me.

    That being said. I'd be very worried when he gets really quiet, if I were you.

  10. LMFAO!

    I'm sorry to tell you that the fascination with his own penis and all things butt-related does not go away with age

  11. Omg I'm so happy I found your page...I just laughed so hard!! Cannot wait to keep reading (:

  12. My kids are just as bad... I kinda enjoy it. :)

  13. Hahaha I love this! My kids are the same way....always saying whatever comes to mind! LOL!


Lay it on me!