Monday, April 30, 2012

The Boogie Man

First let me start by saying that I have never once claimed to be the "World's Best Mom", nor do I raise my kids with the promise rainbows will come out their ass when they poop. I believe in the real world whatever that means. I have a sick sense of humor, I always have. I love to play practical jokes and love to scare the shit out of people!  I'm not really one of those people who can hand it out but not take it. Scare me go right ahead, I will probably shit my pants then go laugh about it. Chris is the same way, he loves to scare people, but it's really hard to scare him.

Scaring my our daughter Em must be my favorite past time. That girl is scared of everything! If a moth flies her way she does this crazy ass dance while screaming at the top of her lungs, which I think it means
 "get that damn thing away from me".

Chris used to own a couple of Halloween masks, but had to give them away, Em was so afraid of these things she wouldn't even walk into the room if she knew it was there. Once I put one of the masks on my son who at the time was 10 months old, and just started to walk. I had him walk into his sister's room and she screamed like someone just cut off her damn foot. She flew out of there so quick poor Andrew fell right on his masked face.
I know it's evil, but I'm giggling about it as I type. Don't Judge me!

My son who is only 2 now, likes to hide around the house and I try to find him so I can scare him.

Wonder if this will make him a strong man or a coward?

And I know for sure I'm not the only one who does this,  I have a friend who's husband hid under the kids bed as they were going to sleep, then he stuck his head out and screamed. The kids nearly peed their beds. haha.

Chris and I will always try to scare each other, once while he was in the shower, I took a huge cup of cold ass water and snuck into the bathroom and dumped it right on him. He didn't care for that too much, but I sure got a laugh.

At our old house, we had a pretty big screened in porch and I would sit out there late at night and smoke or talk on the phone. Chris always thought it was funny as hell to sneak out the front door and come around back and scare the balls off me. He got me every damn time too.. You think I would have learned.

If you don't think that I'm totally ruining my kids and think this is the slightest bit funny.. share some of your "Boogie Man" stories.


  1. Ok so this story is technically not mine, but it still makes me giggle. When my niece was about 2, my big sister, my mum and my little sisters went for a shopping trip to a big toy store. One of my sisters had already jumped out and scared my niece with a giant Batman doll, but that wasn't enough for her. She then went to the aisle where the doll came from, and turned all the dolls heads so they faced the same direction. She then grabbed my niece in her pram and proceeded to slowly walk down the aisle with her so that it looked like the batman dolls were staring at her the whole way. All my niece could say was "bit scary" but she was crapping in her daks. (pardon my french) We still laugh about this story eight years later.

    1. Haha! That is really funny.. never thought of doing that. I'll keep that little nugget up my sleeve.

      Thanks for commenting

  2. Oh we LOVE to scare each other in our house! This one time (probably my most favorite one) My oldest and I got the hubby not ONCE but TWICE! The first time he was in the shower and I stood on top of the toilet looking with my face lotion not rubbed in all the was, so it kinda looked like "war paint" and I just stared at him. When he finally noticed I was there he jumped 10 feet in the air and almost knocked my off the toilet. I had #1 laying on the floor on the side of the bed so when Hubby walked out of the bath room to get dressed #1 jumped up and yelled "get on the floor" hubby ran back into the bathroom. That's just one of the few stories I have. :) Get blog!

    1. Holy Crap! That is freaking funny. I'm gonna have to clean under my daughters bed, so I can lay under there! It's really, really hard for me to scare by boyfriend. I'll keep trying tho. Thanks for sharing.

  3. OMG these are awesome!! When we moved to our last house, we had our then 12 year old son convinced that the empty corn crib across the street was where all the children of the corn slept during the day. His bedroom looked over that field and we went a lit a lantern out there one night to scare him (mission accomplished) and almost burned the whole damn field!


Lay it on me!