Ma, my balls are bigger!

I started this blog with intentions of writing about my life as a mother and of my children.
Of course events and my mood changes my purpose of writing sometimes, and I sway away from the topic of kids. Sometimes I vent about things I see around me or what I hear. 

The way I see it, no one really wants to hear about someone's kids all the time.
And I can write about anything it's my blog!

For this post, something happened that I had to share, so I will be writing about my kids.

It's incredible to me that my children are so different.  Both raised in a home with both parents. Although, Chris and I aren't married,but that subject has only came up once when my daughter Emilie asked why my last name is different than her's.  I told her that Mommy and Daddy aren't married.  I asked her if that bothered her? 
 She replied, "I don't care, I was just wondering."

Okay.. back on track - they have both of us and same values and mostly the same rules.

Emilie is now 8 years old but when she was a baby and a toddler she was amazing. She listened to us, followed rules and never repeated any "bad words" we may say in front of her.  I can't say that she listens to us or never talks back now. She is 8 but acts like a 14 year old.  Slamming doors, screaming like a banshee. Oh man, it is going to be tough when she actually is 14!

My son Andrew, who will be 3 on the 22nd of July.  He is a freakin' character.  He repeats everything I say.  He constantly asks questions. He insists he is a "BIG MAN."  If I say, "My little man" or "Baby boy" he corrects me immediately. He has finally been potty trained, so that has definitely proved he really is a "big man" (in his eyes).

I was sitting in his room with him last night, when he informs me that he has to go poop.
 I instruct him to go to the bathroom, I follow him and get him situated on the potty.  He then tells me me to leave the room and close the door. We have a tiff on leaving the door open, (which I win this time).  I go back to his room and continue reading.  
A few minutes later he comes out of the bathroom and runs into his room,
he is naked because that's just the way he likes to poop.

Our conversation consists of:
"Andrew are you done pooping?"
"I do pee-pee."
"Okay, well do you have to go poop?" I ask
"Yes." he says as his bare butt runs back into the bathroom.

Couple of minutes later and he's back.
"You done yet?" I ask again.


He puts his hands on his "big man" parts and says:
"Ma my balls are bigger."
" Er.. Okay, well that's great Andrew, but do you have to poop?"
"Nope, no poop - I got big balls."

Well what can I say to that?
Nothing - I just laughed
Cause that's what he makes me do everyday!

Glad to know he's growing well though.

:)

Not my normal Saturday

Normally, on Saturday's I spend my day outside doing yard work.  But, today is different, because Chris had to work today.  You ask, why I can't do yard work when Chris isn't home?  Well, the answer is... Hell if i know!!!
So this Saturday, is basically being spent like any normal week day.
Breakfast for my monsters, Em and I did a mini workout, load of laundry, nap with Andrew and watched an episode of Peppa Pig.  I'm dying to read a book that I just downloaded on my Iphone, but the piece of shit broke yesterday.  Luckily my 8 year old daughter has an itouch, so I can watch it on there.. But not today, she is busy sitting in front of the t.v videoing all the shows she likes to watch on her itouch! She said she wanted to do this so she can watch t.v in the bathroom.  Sometimes I think she has a man's soul.

Andrew is obsessed with an old bike that his Pa-Pa gave him.  He is sitting outside turning the wheels and staring at it.  He's waiting for Daddy to get home to put on the training wheels so he can "ride faster than Sissy."

I'm also outside watching him talk non-stop about how his new (used) bike has 2 handles.  Right now, for me to get online I have to sit on the porch and pick up our neighbors' wi-fi signal.  It's hot as hell out here and the mosquitoes are eating me alive.
But I sit here writing and listen to Andrew count the parts on his "big man bike."

Although, in about two-weeks one of my close friends will be moving in with me and my family.  It's no surprise that my family plus many, many other including my close friend are having money issues.

My close friend Amy and I were roommates years ago and it was quite fun, although it was before I had children.. Doubt we will have any drunken nights these days.

But the point is, when Amy moves in we will have internet again!!! I won't have to sit outside and "borrow" a signal.  I will not take for granted sitting on a couch, chair or my bed in the a/c reading about other's on Facebook.  Can you tell how freaking excited I am?  I really am!!!!!!

Also, due to the economy we are losing our health insurance so I'm weaning myself off of what my son call "nice mommy pill."  Because of that, I don't have as much energy as I normally do.  Maybe that's why I don't feel like doing yard work today?
Anyway, enough of my ramblings... it's hot out here.  I'm going inside to cool off.

Thanks for reading!
xoxo

What happened to honesty?

Anyone who really knows me knows that I am a very honest person.
 Although, sometimes I still feel like I am sugar coating things just for that person’s sake or feelings.  I hate doing that!

I do not understand weak or overly sensitive people.  If someone asks me my opinion on something and I tell him or her the straight out truth no fluff involved.  Then they get offended! Really?  You asked me, if you do not want to know the truth please don’t ask.  Okay even now, as I’m writing, I feel like I’m trying to be tactful.  Why the hell am I doing that?  This is my blog and I can write what I damn well please.  If you don’t like it then you can stop reading.

Don’t get me wrong, I do not go walking around just blurting out my opinion to anyone I see.  I try not to put my two cents in if I’m not asked.  I would love to though.  And I have in the past and it did not end well… Lesson learned I guess.

I believe a true friend is someone who will sit down with his or her friend and tell them the truth.

If you have a friend who lets say you think lives in a fantasy world, why is it so bad that you tell your “friend”, hey wake the fuck up!  Life is not a movie; you can’t live your life like that.  That will NEVER happen to you!
I don’t believe it’s mean to be truthful.  By all means if someone witnesses my life turning into a big pile shit, TELL ME!  

I’ve been told in the past I have “thick skin” and I can take constructive criticism.  I take it all in and I change what I feel needs to be changed.

I know many people who cannot take constructive criticism and I don’t understand why.  Do not take it personally, change it!
I believe it will make you a better person.

Although, I think I have two friends total in my everyday life who are basically like me.  NO FLUFF!!! That’s what I love about them most.  Those two friends, know exactly what I’m talking about in this post.
Oh well, not everyone can be alike - although it would make my life much easier if everyone were like me and my no fluff friends. HAHA!

One last note, while reading this post and you feel like I’m talking about you, then I probably am.  Take a good look in the mirror and figure out who you are.  Really, who are you?  Are you the person you want to be? Are you honest with others? Most importantly, are you honest with yourself?
I would bet the answer is NO.

P.S.
Of course this is just my opinion, and I know many people who will disagree with my view on honesty.

Thanks for reading

Meditate

I want to learn how to meditate.  Sometimes All the time, I have so much running through my head.
How do you shut that off?  To meditate do you have to shut off your brain? Or is it time to think?
I just don't know.  I feel like I could be so much more than who I am. It's like the amazing Ellen is sitting right on the fore front of my brain waiting to be discovered.  I want to discover her and unleash her into this world.  My question though is HOW?

When I think of meditation I think of silly people sitting in a weird position humming.  Is that what you have to do to meditate?  Do I need to convert my 4th bedroom into some Buddha shrine.  Surround myself with with all white walls, water trickling fountains, and candles lit everywhere?  Because with my forgetfulness that will really be fire hazard.


What can you really get from meditating besides inner peace?  Can I get anything I desire?

                                                                     

Maybe I should forget meditating and start medicating!

Thanks for reading

Insomnia

Lately I've been suffering from insomnia!  I have never experienced this before.  Normally, I could fall asleep anywhere. Once I fell asleep at a concert! WTF -   I don't know what to do with myself.  I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling waiting for sleep to come.  I wait and wait.  While I'm laying there my OCD kicks in!  Which I should add I've never had this problem before either.

Did I lock the door?
 I get up and physically touch the door knob and make sure it's locked.
I go back to bed.
I need to go check on my daughter!
 Ever since little girls are getting ripped out of their beds at night, that scares the shit out of me
I go back to bed.
Oh shit I forgot to check on my 3 year old son.


Okay, everyone is safe in their beds. (ahhh, now i can sleep)

NOPE!!! Chris is laying next to me, and he's begun his nightly ritual of snoring!! OMG!!!  This isn't just regular snores. I want to rip out his insides, to make him quit!!!
I've tried kicking, pushing and rolling his 200 lb body over.  He wakes up and yells at me for waking him up.

Luckily I have a 4th bedroom, that is empty except for a queen size air mattress.  I keep it blown up and made just for these occasions.

I grab my pillows and stomp off to my nice quiet bedroom.

And, now I lay there, listening to my thoughts.  What I have to do the next day. A new chapter comes to mind for my book.  An article about Motherhood I want to write.

Oh, I'm finally drifting off to sleep.
I'm scared out of a light sleep with loud meow, right in my ear.
The damn cat wants to go outside. Although I tried to get him to go out before I went to bed.  But no he didn't want to go then.
ARRR!!!
I get up and let the cat out. I Make sure I lock the door securely, so I don't have to think about that and check again.
I go back to bed.
Yes, I feel sleep coming back.
Am, I dreaming about a child screaming?
NOPE.. Andrew woke up and he's running around the house looking for me.
"MAMA"   " MAMA" - he's yelling with his outside voice!!
I look at the clock it's 3:00 a.m.. I'm too tired now to sit in Andrew's room and wait for him to go back to sleep.  I take him to my air mattress and he falls to sleep. Finally it's my turn.
         
                  *********************
I wake up to Andrew pounding my head, "Mommy, wake up time."
UGH - I look at the clock it's 7:00 a.m.

I get up and start the day.. thinking I can't wait to go to bed tonight, so I can lay there and drive myself crazy!

Thanks for reading
xoxo