Thursday, June 20, 2013

Keep your mouth off my....

Everyone has the best ideas or thinks of something that they saw or heard and it comes back to haunt you in the shower.  Welcome to "Musings from the Shower."  hosted by Penny at Mom Rants and Comfy Pants.
I love this lady!  If you haven't read her stuff, you need to head over there after you read this!

 For some reason I was thinking of this commercial while in the shower.
And I thought, what the hell is up with this commercial.  Is it supposed to be funny? Sexy?

Then I started thinking about what I would change about this commercial to make it "Ellen Funny".
What's "Ellen funny"?
Well, I think things are funny when someone is trying to be sexy and it just goes all wrong.

Watch the video above and then read what I would change about this commercial to make it funny.


I would keep the beginning the same, sexy lady walks in and not so sexy man is moaning over a Hot Pocket.  She walks up looking sultry and she opens her mouth to take a bite.

We all know that biting down on a Hot Pocket is like putting your mouth in hot freaking lava!
A long stringy melted cheese is stuck to your chin, while you have a mouthful of steaming nasty ass sauce.

Okay, now picture the lady above in that scene, she's got her mouth open wide and shaking her head like a rabid dog trying to cool off the putrid snack inside her mouth.
She's making inaudible noises, shrieks and is panting as she's trying to free the toxin she put in her mouth.
Drool makes it's way out and it now joined with the melted cheese that is dangling from her chin.

Finally, with one last shake of her pretty little head, the spit soaked food flies out of her mouth and lands on the not so sexy guy's foot.

The man looks up from spit shit on his shoe and says;
"That's what you get dumb ass, keep your nasty mouth off my Hot Pocket!"

Now, that shit is funny!

Do you think if I submitted this new scene to the Hot Pocket people they would like it?
I tried to talk Chris into making this commercial  but he declined.

I want to thank Penny at Mom Rants and Comfy Pants for allowing me to be a guest blogger at her awesomely funny blog!

Thanks for reading,



  1. Now that is a commercial I WOULD LOVE to see....

  2. You need to convince Chris. The world needs to see this commercial. We have too many "sexy" ads in this world and someone needs to start taking them down. i think you may be the lady to do the job.

  3. I would love to do it. I would go all out and be a drooling freak. Only bad part would be is that I would have to eat a Hot Pocket! Ick!!


Lay it on me!