Sunday, January 20, 2013

Get out of my way Ellen!

If you read my last post about being positive and all that business, there is a affirmation that I need to say to myself more.  I only think it, I never say it out loud.  What the hell am I afraid of?  Am I afraid to say it out loud because, I feel like the end isn't near?  Because, if I say it I will be held accountable?
I need to be held accountable, everyone should be held accountable if they tell people what their dream is.

I have it all in my noggin, it's all there but....  Damn that "but" always slips out of my mouth.  I need to stop using that word!  It's me, I'm standing in my way.

I think it's because I'm afraid of rejection.  Yes, I know everyone is afraid of rejection. I don't give a crud, I'm talking about me here!

My dream is possible, attainable, I know it is.  If I close my eyes I can imagine my dream becoming my life.

I'm not sure why it is when I get on my laptop I avoid that little file.  The first think I go to is that blasted Facebook!   It's a file that will change my life as I know it.  I can only hope and dream that it will make my life and my family's life better.

Why can't I find the motivation within myself to just freaking do it!

So, I'm here to tell you all what my dream is, what the 4 word affirmation I need to say to myself everyday.

I need you.. yes you, to  hold me accountable.


Yes, Yes!! I've said it. Damn that felt so good.  I've actually never written that down before.

Maybe, I don't think of myself as a writer because what I want people to read isn't out there yet.  I'm not a published writer.  I want to be a published writer more than anything.  Even if I won the lottery tomorrow, I would still want this so bad.

I've been working on a book for over a year.  I have the whole thing already written in my head.  I personally think it is amazing.  I've typed out many, many words. Then I've deleted all those words.  I stopped I decided no, that's not the story I want to write.  For a few months I didn't write, but I never stopped thinking about that story.  So, I started it all over again.  What if I get it all done and then realize I could have made it better by doing this or that?

Okay, I need to just get the hell over it and do what I want to do, NO, what I NEED to do.

Thanks for reading my page of rantings.


  1. How many times have you told your kids they can do anything they put their minds to? The same thing applies to YOU!! Now, prove it to them, show them!!!!!

  2. It is only you that is holding you back..... JUST DO IT WRITER.....

  3. Just do it, the more you write the better you will get. The hardest part is havoing the ideas, good writing will come with practice just like anythong else.

    You write it, we'll read it!

  4. I saw the comment you left Cranky Old Man and thought I'd check you out. You're a gifted writer with a great sense of humor, and I'm looking forward to returning and enjoying more of your posts. I hope you'll visit me sometime at It would be great getting to know you better.

    Chubby Chatterbox

    1. Thank you for stopping by. I often look for other writers who have the same stupid, sick, make me giggle like a 8 year old girl sense of humor. Thank you for the great compliment. I stopped by your blog and laughed my ass off.

  5. As Steve and Joe said above, you write, we'll read. Let your imagination go and enjoy yourself. ;)


  6. It is hard to say, isn't it? I still can't/won't/don't... :) Way to shout it from the roof tops!


Lay it on me!