Friday, December 7, 2012
Oh no, what did I do!?!
Emilie isn't the kind of child who asks a lot of questions about things.
This afternoon, after I picked her up from school, she goes in her room and does whatever she does in there to entertain herself.
Then she came out and stood right in front of me and said:
"Mommy, is the Tooth Fairy real?"
"Yes, Emilie the Tooth Fairy is real." I look her right in the eye.
"Mommy, you can tell me the truth you know, I won't be upset if you say no."
"Emilie, I'm telling you, there is a Tooth Fairy."
"Are you sure you don't just give me money when I lose my teeth."
Okay, I'm starting to freak out a bit, she never has that many questions. And usually when I tell her the answer once she doesn't question it again.
Luckily I'm a great actress.. (some people call it liar, I choose to call it acting.)
"Emilie you know how cheap I am. Unless you earn the money yourself I don't just hand out money, right?"
She looks me right in the face, waiting for me to crack a smile, looking for something to tip her off.
Like I said, I'm a good actress, and she takes the answer and goes back to her room.
She comes out a few minutes later to get a drink and I decide to question her.
"Emilie, why were you asking me so many questions about the Tooth Fairy. Did someone say something to you in school?"
"Nope, I was just wondering." she saunters back to her bedroom.
I can't help to think about why she asked me such a random question. She doesn't even have a loose tooth and hasn't lost one in quite a few months.
Then it dawns on me.. Holy shit, I was talking about Santa on the way home from school.
I've had a really bad day, we are having major money problems. We left our Christmas decorations back in Ocala when we moved. My best friend was coming down this weekend to visit, and she was bringing my
decorations with her. She called today to tell me they weren't coming because she got the flu. I seriously was and still am pretty sad about her not coming. I miss her something crazy!
So, then I started thinking. Oh my God, how the hell are we going to decorate without my decorations. We can not afford to buy all new stuff. Then, I starting thinking about, how the hell are we even going to afford presents. I was so sad today. I feel like everything is just piled on top of me and I can't breathe.
Back in the car, on the way home from school. Emilie was talking about everything she wants for Christmas, and I did something really, really bad.
"Emilie baby, you know I can't afford everything you want."
"Mommy, Santa will bring it all."
"Umm, no.. Santa doesn't bring all of your gifts he only brings a few and Mommy and Daddy buy the rest."
As soon as I seen her face. I could have rolled my own head up in the window.
What the hell did I just do? I asked myself.
Well, I guess I can't cover it up now. I have to just go with it now.
"Emilie, I think sometimes he brings more one year and less another year. He has so many children to deliver gifts to."
She answers "Oh."
Then she let it go. Until the whole Tooth Fairy conversation came up.
Oh my God, what did I do? Did I ruin it for my 8 year old daughter?
I feel horrible!