Abreast not A breast!

Here is a conversation Chris and I had.

Well, it wasn't a long conversation.  You have to remember that we've been together for like 13 years so I do consider this a conversation, because it didn't involve either one of us grunting at each other.

Me:  Chris what is another word for abreast?

Chris:  Um, knockers, tits and boobs.

20 seconds of Chris staring at me like an idiot because I'm holding myself trying not to pee from laughing so hard.

Chris: What's so damn funny?  You asked me and I told you.

Me:  I didn't say a breast I said abreast.

Chris:  What!  I know and I told you.  Why the hell are you still laughing?

Me:  Abreast means to like keep up to date on something.

Chris:  Well, that's fucking stupid!  And, who ever uses that word is a damn idiot!

Me:   Awe! That's not very nice!

Chris:  Sorry! I really don't think you should use that word though. People are gonna think you're talking about boobies.

Me:  Okay, point taken. Thanks for the tip.

We had another conversation a few weeks about about the word "placate."  That conversation pretty much ended with me running to the bathroom.

I think I will get him a word of the day calendar for his desk at work.

Thanks for reading.

Ellen