I've been tagged

There is this really cool thing going around on our blogosphere, it's called "Five Things."
I've been tagged by Dates 2 Diapers to play.

So, the game goes like this:  I have to answer a shit load of questions and then tag 5 other bloggers to play the game. Even though it may not sound like it, but I'm excited to play!

Fives things I have a passion for:

1. Reading. I can really get lost in a good book.
2. Writing, I love to sit down with my computer on my lap and just write.  Write anything!
3. Sitting on the warm sandy beach and watch my children play.
4. I love swimming, but what I love mostly is being underwater. It's so quiet down there. 
5. Organizing. I love to organize anything.

Five things I'd like to do before I die:

1. Attend my children's weddings.
2. Live beach side
3. Go on a cruise
4. Live comfortably 
5. Hold my grandchildren

Five things I say a lot:

1. Shoot me in the brain-hole.
2. Son-of-a mother sucker
3. Sweet
4. Are you f'ing kidding me?!?
5. I will say any bad word there is, and I like to make up my own phrases that make no sense.

Five books I've read lately:
Really? Wow. I read near 2 to 3 books a week. I have to go check my Amazon account to see what the last 5 books I've read.

1. Under the Dome by Stephen King  (currently reading, that sucker is freaking long)
2. Addicted to him by: Lauren Dodd
3. The Harrowing by: Alexandra Sokoloff
4. Experiment in Terror by Karina Halle (This is a series of 8 books, I've read the first 7 and waiting on the last one to be released.
5. Branded by: Abi Kenter & Missy Kalicicki

Five favorite movies:

1. Pretty Woman
2. Titanic
3. Twister
4. Footloose (the original)
5. The Twilight Series 

Five places I'd like to travel:

1. Hawaii
2. New York City
3. California
4. Australia
5. Paris

Five bloggers I love:

1. Menopausal Mother
2. When Crazy Meets Exhaustion
3. Mom Rants and Comfy Pants
4. Baking in a Tornado
5. The Sadder but Wiser Girl

I hope you enjoyed reading all my fav's.  While I was reading over, I realized that everything makes me sound so old. UGH!  Oh well.

Thanks for reading,

xoxo

Me Squirrely?

One of my favorite bloggers made her own blogger award!  I was super excited to find out that she included me as one of the bloggers to receive this award. I consider Marcia @ Menopausal Mother  a great friend who I've never met in real life.  I know she's real though, I've seen pictures of her! Thank you for this Marcia!!

So the rules of this award is to share 7 to 10 "Squirrely" facts about myself and to pass this awesome award to 10 other bloggers.

1. When I'm watching one of my favorite shows I MUST have quiet during that time.  I will scream and yell at anyone who even breathes too heavy while I'm watching it. 
2. I can not sleep with socks on.
3. I don't like ice cream.  I know crazy right?  
4. I never wear underwear to bed, and now my kids don't like to either.  It's just way too binding!
5. I have a specific way that I vacuum.  All the lines have to match up. I wasn't too happy that the first house we bought had Berber carpet. How the hell am I supposed to see the lines in that shit!
6. Just like the blogger who gave me this award, I despise cuddling. I've never liked it. I hate to be touched while I'm sleeping.  
7. Clutter is my nemesis.  I've thrown so much shit away because it just didn't have a place in my home. 
8. I get really stressed out if I have no inspiration for a new blog post.  
9. I never wear shoes in my house. 
10. I have to fold and put away clothes as soon as they get out of the dryer.  I can't stand seeing clean clothes lying all over a bed getting wrinkled!

So there you go, 10 Squirrely facts about myself.

Now, here the bloggers I want to bestow this award too.

Flight Plan

My Life as Lucille

All My Lives Now

It's Why You Like Me

Letters from Launna

Mommy's Rambles

Momopolize

The Insomniac's Dream

The Chubby Chatterbox

Pink Fuzzy Slippers & My Hubby's Pants


Okay, ladies and gents, take your award and name 7-10 Squirrely facts about yourself and pass it off to 10 of your favorite bloggers.  Have fun!!


I also would like to thank Jenn from @ My Daily Jenn-ism for also giving me this award!  Jenn is funny and very sweet, go check her out.

Thanks for reading
xoxo

Vacation

September 8th 2012 my family and I moved from a town in north central Florida where Chris and I both grew up. We moved two and a half hours south east to Palm Bay, Florida.  Almost one year later the kids and I came back to Ocala my old stomping ground.  My sister and her family were going on vacation and asked me to come and dog sit for them.  My sister's boyfriend has the sweetest retired police dog, he's getting up there in age and doesn't travel well.  I've never dog sat before, how hard could it really be.

I was a little nervous about watching a old cop dog.  I knew that they have certain words and commands for the dog.  I think German words.  Of course I don't know German, but I often make up my own words that sound like a different language.  I expressed my concern to my sis that I wanted to come a day early so the dog could get to know me and to be sure I wouldn't say any of my freaky words and the dog wouldn't bite my titties off when I wasn't looking.

We finally get into hot ass, no sea breeze Ocala on Saturday afternoon, feeling a little nostalgic as we drive around a town that I have a memory in every nook and cranny.  We get the Shawn's house and say hi to my sis and nieces.  After a little butt sniffing from the dog, I think we will be good for the week.

Here are some pictures of all the people we went to visit.. Because I'm a freaking dumbass, I didn't think of taking pictures of everywhere we went.

I was really excited to visit my friend/sis in law and fellow blogger Barbara.  We always have some amazing talks!  I don't want to forget my bro in law her "love."  She has an awesome pool that the kids and  their dog got to enjoy in between rain showers.  If you haven't read Barb's blog yet, you really should she is an amazing writer with tons of great fashion and beauty advice.  All My Lives Now

Sadie waiting for Andrew to jump in (which never happened)

One day I got together with my good friends Shirley and Andrea.  

We had such a great night catching up with each other!

We went to visit Chris' mom and Emilie had lots of fun hula hooping with Grandma.

In between visiting people the kids and I had Wii dancing competitions.  As you can see from the videos' I did not win that shit!!  But, had lots of fun trying.

Emilie dancing.. which she never does. 

Here's one of me trying to dance to my lovely Adam Levine..

Good God almighty I have no freaking rhythm

On our last day Andrew was a little sad and wanted to say good bye to the sweet dog we spent the week with. 

Thank you to everyone who I visited with but I must tell you.  The next time any of you see me is when you visit me!  

Thanks for reading

xoxo

Tales from the Trailer Park, Chapter 8: Pay back is hell!

Welcome to another chapter of Tales from the Trailer Park.. If you read "You Little Asshole"  you might have thought I was an asshole, but trust me I got paid back!

My Mom wasn't smart enough to pay me back for all the miserable shit I used to do.  Okay, well that probably wasn't a nice thing to say.  She was smart but, she wouldn't have wanted to spend the time scheming against me.

Although, my neighbors/mom's boss and her husband loved to fuck with us kids!
I guess they were tired of seeing Mom's boobs every other day and decided to take matters in their own hands.

I remember they were having a barbecue that day and I was super excited, I loved to socialize and skip and run around their yard.  They had the coolest little doll house in their backyard!
They also had two huge Rottweiler's who used to scare the shit out of me.  The dogs never did anything to hurt me, but I couldn't figure out why they had to stick their wet noses up my freaking ass every time I saw them!  I tried to stay away from them when I was over.

All the old folks were sitting around the grill talking, laughing, drinking and just being old.

Colleen (that was my neighbor's name) called me over to them.
I noticed they were all smiling as I walked over.  Of course the first thing I thought was they want to see my awesome gymnastic skills.  Hell yes!!

I can't remember what she said to me when I came over, that was a really long time ago.  It's not important anyway, what is important is what happened next.

I saw something big and green out of the corner of my eye and then all of a sudden everything got really quiet like they were all holding their breath.

I turned around and I seriously damn near shit my pants, I couldn't believe what I was seeing.  I felt like my feet were made out of concrete.  I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe and I couldn't cry.

My world was frozen in time until he flexed his big green arms and let out a roar that could have melted my eyebrows.  I turned to look at the old folks to see if they were seeing what I was seeing or if any of them were going to help me.  They were seeing what I was seeing and they weren't going to help.  They were laughing! How could they be laughing the freaking Incredible Hulk is gonna kill me!!

I turned back around to see where he was, oh my God, he walking toward me and he's growling now. I swear the ground was rumbling under his mighty feet.

I managed to make my feet work and I took the fuck off! I ran across their yard toward the fence that separated our yards.  The whole time I was running I was crying and screaming,

"No Hulk! Please leave me alone!"

I seriously ran so fast I didn't have time to stop and climb the fence, and no need either I scaled that thing in one hop!  I got to the other side of the fence and looked back to find Hulk and all the old folks pointing and laughing at me.

I found out later in life that Colleen had a weight-lifting friend and she asked him to some how paint his whole freaking body green so she could scare her neighbor's asshole kid!  And he agreed to this shit!

I tell you what, it did scare the shit out of me and I don't remember pulling anymore of those pranks on my mom anymore. Well played Colleen, well played!

Thanks for reading,
xoxo

Four years ago..

Being a 35 year old pregnant woman was not an easy task for me.  I felt too old to be making another human being.  Those feelings faded quickly after I saw my son for the first time. 

8 pounds, 20 inches long 

After a scheduled c-section they whisked him away and was told that my little baby boy was having problems breathing on his own.  I was pushed to pump for my brand new baby to help him grow strong.  I pumped and pumped and it was hand delivered by either Chris or a nurse.  I was a wreck, I wasn't healing as quickly as they hoped I would.  The baby had to stay in the NICU where he was hooked up to machines to help him breathe.  Two days after my surgery the nurses felt I was strong enough to walk to the room that held my heart.

First time I held my son

The hospital let me stay in my hospital room one more night free of charge so I could be close to my son. 

But, the day finally came when I had to pack up and go home to my family and leave a piece of me behind.

Before we left, I was surprised with the best present ever, he was strong enough to come to my room. As soon as the nurse wheeled him in I broke down!  I noticed all the nurses stood outside my open door to watch our family bond. 

First time Emilie was able to see her brother without a
 piece of glass between them

I think I blocked a lot out during those few days without my son at home with me.  I found myself enraged with hormones and deep sadness that my precious baby was not with me. 

I was unable to drive for 2 weeks after my surgery, but luckily I have a great friend Amber who offered to take me.  I was really beyond myself to see him again, I was anxious as we drove the 5 miles to the hospital.  I walked into the room and found that they had taken him off of most of the tubes and gadgets that were stuck into him.  I picked him up and held him as carefully as I could.  I cried and prayed for him to be okay and come home to his family.  I eventually had to say goodbye for the day and go home, on the ride home I burst into tears because I had forgotten to bring the breast milk I had for him.  

Our first picture together

He only had to spend 3 days in the hospital with out me.  I was obviously ecstatic to bring him home. 

Well, here we are 4 years later and he is the light of my life!  He has the best personality, (definitely not like his Mommy)

He has stayed home with me since the day he came home from the hospital. It was an amazing experience to be able to do that with him.  I wouldn't have traded it for anything.  Now, it's coming to an end.. Next month he will start pre-school.   He's only going for 3 hours a day but, oh  man I will miss him so much!  I'm so very excited for him to grow and learn and to make new friends.  I'm also a little sad because I miss the little baby he used to be.  

He told me recently that when I drop him off at school that I'm only allowed to give him hugs and kisses in the car.  "Not in front of my friends, Mama!"  Little does he know, I'm gonna do it anyway!

Happy Birthday to my wonderful, beautiful and sweet son.  I love that I smile when you walk into a room. Please don't grow up to be an annoying a-hole!  But, I'll love you anyway.

Four years later....

Thanks for reading,

xoxo